and North Node in the 10th House
ATTRIBUTES TO DEVELOP
Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents
Approaching life from an adult position
Staying goal oriented
Sensible approaches to problem solving
Keeping commitments and promises
Letting go of the past
Accepting responsibility for success
TENDENCIES TO LEAVE BEHIND
Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can help make life easier and more enjoyable
Insecurity leading to inaction
Limiting self through fear
Using the past to avoid the present
Isolation—spending too much time at home
Lack of self-respect
Avoidance of personal risk
Controlling others through emotional overreactions
The Achilles’ heel Capricorn North Node people need to be aware of is dependence. The desire to be taken care of (“If there’s no one to take care of me, I won’t survive”) can lead them into the trap of an unending search for security (“If I can just get a strong enough foundation under me, I’ll have the energy I need to take charge of my life”). They develop emotional dependencies on others, which force people into becoming a basis for their security. But it’s a bottomless pit: They can never get enough reassurance to feel safe, so they never gain the security they think they need to be capable adults and take charge of their lives.
The bottom line is that at some point they simply have to be willing to run the risk, take charge, and assume full responsibility for the consequences. When Capricorn North Node people recognize a goal that’s truly important to them and live by it, they gain the self-respect and assurance they need to live responsibly. The irony is that once they take charge, they feel secure and in control of their own destiny.
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
What you really want is an environment in which to feel safe, protected, cared for, and doted on—a place where they feel they truly belong. To achieve this, they must be willing to let go of the idea that one special person—or group of people—is going to provide it just because they think they need it. Instead, Capricorn North Nodes must take charge of creating what they need for themselves. By pursuing a goal that energizes them, or by finding an ideal or set of principles that builds their self-respect, they will develop feelings of belonging in whatever circumstances they find themselves.
Capricorn North Node people need to find a focus beyond their scattered emotional needs and those of people around them. When they bring themselves into alignment with a higher principle or spiritual belief, they feel protected and nurtured.
These people excel at being the “boss,” so management, public speaking, politics, and entrepreneurship are good choices for them. Othets are willing to cooperate with their goals, since they approach people under their authority with sensitivity. To achieve success in any area, these folks need to be “in charge” of their own piece of the puzzle.
Additionally, Capricorn North Node people have finely honed instincts for empathy. They are always aware of the feelings of others, and when they use this ability in a management situation their sensitivity encourages people to assist them with goodwill and enthusiasm. However, if they involve themselves in professions that stress nurturing as the end result, they often become enmeshed in feelings of helplessness, unable to get “on top” of the situation. They are better off in goal-oriented professions or positions that enable them to use their sensitivity to lovingly organize others to work toward a specific goal.
“I cannot control others, but I can control myself.”
“In releasing the past, I deal more effectively with the present.”
“When I take charge, I win.”
“When I feel self-respect, I’m on the right path.”
“I don’t need to depend on anyone else to take care of me.”
“I can take charge in this situation.”
“I am in charge of my inner state of being.”
Capricorn North Node people have spent many lifetimes as householders: As central figures in the home and on the farm, they were thoroughly identified with their family or clan. Through these incarnations, they developed a natural understanding of how families work and the emotional attunement to others that is characteristic of this nodal group. But they have not had a lot of past-life experience being out on their own. And although in this lifetime their greatest joy will come from being out in the world, the problem is getting them out there! By giving up worldly experience to be in the home, they sacrificed their sense of competence and self-respect. In this incarnation, they are learning to be in charge of their own destinies.
In past lives the home was everything to these folks, and all their needs were taken care of by the family: They were fed, clothed, given shelter, and protected. So they came into this lifetime with tremendous dependence needs and now look to others to help them “get their life together.” When things don’t go as they want, they overreact emotionally, subconsciously hoping that others will see how upset they are and change their behavior. But other people perceive this as a means of controlling and are unwilling to modify their behavior just to appease these natives.
Capricorn North Node people are learning that in order for their lives to work, they must approach situations from a position of being “in charge.”They must discard all tendencies to manipulate people through emotional outbursts, and instead approach others from a position of authority with quiet self-respect that is removed from emotional reactions. It is a byproduct of taking charge of themselves and having their own life goals. From a take-charge position, they can relate as equals without depending on others’ goals for security.
These folks have difficult family karma. Too often, they are born into a situation where immediate family members have many emotional problems, and the Capricorn North Nodes spend a lot of time being sensitive and empathetic. However, they are drained by the incessant demands of those around them because they take on others’ problems but don’t feel capable of helping them change.
From past lives, Capricorn North Node people are so used to nurturing family members that they have lost a sense of their own direction. Thus, in this lifetime they tend to have difficulty when they get too close to members of their immediate family. Actually, the problem isn’t the closeness but rather their subconscious intent: “If only I can get this person on track, then finally I can have my own life, pursue my own goals, and be a person in my own right!”
Because of this subconscious motive, their “support” of family members has an unpleasant emotional intensity. They want to “get it over with” so they can live their own life. The problem is twofold: (1) trying to get the other person on track is a way to postpone making the commitment to taking care of their own lives; and (2) trying to help someone else achieve success is premature when they have not yet learned how to do it themselves.
The first job for these folks is to decide to distance themselves from total emotional involvement with their family. Once they let go, they are in a position to proceed with their own life. It is fine for them to be in touch with family members when they can objectively understand others’ emotional needs from a detached position. When their happiness is no longer dependent on resolving the problems of everyone in the family, they are actually quite good at managing the family in a way that brings productive results for all concerned.
If Capricorn North Node people were to manage their families the way they run businesses, their family life would be extremely successful. In fact, they are expert managers because they have a natural understanding of people and can gently align others to cooperate in reaching the goal in ways that don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. They need to approach family members in the same way: from a position of authority, not of need. To do this, they need to discover what the other person’s goal is and objectively support him or her in reaching it. Alternatively, they need to have specific goals in terms of how to run the family, assume the role of manager, and facilitate family members in reaching the goals that promote everyone’s best interests.
These folks are extremely sensitive to their own emotions and those of others. Because of this innate awareness, they understand why people become upset and can’t do things. They are so aware of the reasons people fail that they often become too accepting of their own lack of accomplishment. When they are having a “bad day” or don’t feel like being disciplined enough to work toward their goal, they apply that same understanding and sympathy to themselves as an excuse to postpone direct action—and it becomes a self-defeating escape hatch!
Capricorn North Node people are also very tuned in to the realm of emotional connectedness and understand how people’s feelings can affect others. This is both an asset and a detriment. On the plus side, it enables them to negotiate life more smoothly. The liability is that they sometimes feel for other people more than others are feeling for themselves—and this can be debilitating. They can’t handle negative energy, so they mitigate their own behavior—their plans and their own personal direction—in order to accommodate others. In this way they don’t have to deal with others’ emotional distress—but they can easily end up being controlled by the feelings of everyone around them.
These folks take personal responsibility for other people’s moods; they want to make the other person happy so that they can feel better! They can’t separate themselves from the generalized mood of people in their immediate environment. And the other people may resent not being allowed to express their true feelings because it upsets the Capricorn North Node person.
For example, if a family member invites Capricorn North Node for dinner and she really doesn’t want to go, she will generally go anyway to avoid bad feelings. These natives live in avoidance of anything that might stir up emotions—in themselves or in others. This is one more technique to avoid responsibility: They don’t want to make decisions because they’re afraid that any decision might cause negative feelings in someone else.
Capricorn North Node people are learning to stop controlling other people’s moods and simply allow those around them to feel what they feel. Sometimes people have to experience negative feelings in order to resolve important issues; when these folks try to block that experience, they rob the other person of the opportunity to grow. If someone puts his hand on a hot stove and gets burned, that’s part of learning not to put his hand on stoves. The same holds true on the emotional plane. To a large extent, these folks operate from their emotions, and this equals “how to lose” for them in this lifetime. Their unique challenge is to take charge of their emotions rather than being victimized by them, and to allow others to take responsibility for their own feelings, and to grow and mature as a result.
DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL ENERGY
Capricorn North Node people are very emotional. They cry at movies and at sad stories; their feelings are very present and available to them. These folks can be so overrun by their emotions that they can’t think, they can’t function, and they don’t know why. This can happen when they are faced with personal loss or in professional situations involving confrontation or performance; they can’t seem to control it—it simply escalates.
One thing that helps when their emotions take over is to concentrate on slowing down their breathing. They need to relax, focus on letting go of the thoughts that are making them nervous, and visualize memories that have made them feel happy and peaceful: a beautiful mountain, a time by the seashore, and the like. Then they will calm down and be able to function again.
When these folks face circumstances requiring them to take charge, they may think the situation is beyond their ability to control, and they panic. They think of the possible negative consequences, their fears and insecurities arise, and all the muscles in their body tighten up. Thus, when emotions start to overwhelm them, they need to deliberately breathe, relax, and expand beyond the emotions. They can visualize themselves becoming bigger than the emotions and regaining their serenity.
Ultimately, they should not allow themselves to get into this kind of frenzy to begin with. To that end, they can notice that whenever they allow something to become excessively important to them, they become anxious. Recognizing this can make a significant difference in maintaining their peace of mind.
FEAR OF REJECTION
Capricorn North Node people hate the possibility of rejection—in fact, even the thought of being rejected is crippling for them. If someone rejects them, not only do they feel bad about themselves but they also think it was their fault. These folks are so insecure and so terrified of rejection that they enter situations very cautiously.
Part of this fear of rejection stems from their past lives, when they were shielded from the world by stronger family members. They harbor a perception that they aren’t worth much by themselves; and when they are rejected, it proves to them that they’re not worth much. This response is irrational, but it reinforces their inner fear, and when they think someone has rejected them, they can’t sleep all night! Understandably, then, these folks hate rejecting others. They tend to take responsibility for other people’s feelings and spend a long time going over all the reasons why they were justified if they have to reject someone. But they know how it feels, and thoughts of how others are feeling can upset them for hours.
Making a decision to take charge will empower Capricorn North Node people to rise above their anxieties and take steps to resolve difficult situations in a responsible way. In a personal relationship where a misunderstanding has occurred, they can take the initiative and call the other person: “I’m concerned we may have a misunderstanding, and I want you to know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt your feelings.” Or: “I think we may have had a misunderstanding, and I don’t want you to feel rejected.”
If they come from the position of taking charge to create mutual harmony, they will know what to say to promote that harmony. If they are temporarily too upset to make the call, their best bet is to wait until they’ve calmed down. They can say to themselves: “There’s nothing I can do about this right now. So I’m going to call tomorrow and resolve the issue in a caring way.”
Capricorn North Node people are so open to their feelings that they also tend to keep open a door to feelings from the past. They don’t want to close off any of the happy times, because they don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. They usually avoid thinking about the future at all costs. But until they begin to consciously visualize a positive future, their only reality is the past and the present. When the present does not make them happy, they drift back into thinking about the past. This process is not healthy because it distracts them from taking constructive action in the present.
When they look back at the past, these folks are seeking to regain memories and feelings of joy and love. But they also become aware of things they didn’t do and wish they had, which makes them feel remorseful. This diminishes their power to take charge in the present. They need to remember that their past oversights occurred simply because they didn’t have the Light at the time to know what they should do. But what they know now can empower them to reach their goals if they remain focused in the present and look to the future. The past is only beneficial when they use it to take note of which behaviors were self-defeating and which behaviors led to self-respect and strength.
Capricorn North Node people have a difficult time letting go. They are very sentimental, and they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. When they start to leave a situation, even if it’s clearly not working, they get depressed—so they tend to “hang in there” until they realize, deep down, that there’s no hope. They do all they can to make the relationship, the job, or the situation work. When their survival is threatened, they will leave; but they would De much better off letting go before the situation escalates to that point.
Their difficulty in letting go occurs when they lack goals for the future. Then they dwell on the past, which makes leaving an old situation far more difficult. For these folks, the best way to let go of the past (or a difficult situation in the present) is to focus on a specific goal that gives them a sense of purpose and direction. For example, if they have left a romantic relationship and miss the intimacy, their first tendency is to feel nostalgic and dwell on the closeness they no longer have. A better resolution would be to focus their energy on establishing a new relationship by joining a dating service, going dancing, or participating in other enjoyable social activities. The past must be released in order to experience the empowerment of acting in the present.
One of the most difficult things for Capricorn North Node people to let go of is their drive to control. They always want to make situations work out their way. They think that if they are in control, they are realizing their potential—but they need to recognize the difference between control and management. Trying to control other people so that their own emotions remain undisturbed means that Capricorn North Nodes are operating from an emotional plane with a self-centered view.
However, when their intent is to manage a situation, they organize things according to a bigger picture—they have already determined what will work for everyone. Now they are coming from a place of mental process (not emotions) and goal orientation. But to reach that place, they must first release the desire to control others.
THE PERENNIAL CHILD
Capricorn North Node people always want more—more attention, more time, more nurturing—in order to feel good. Their whole world revolves around their family, and they expect the dynamics to be reciprocal. But more nurturing from family members usually isn’t forthcoming—it’s just not set up that way in this lifetime.
Moreover, these folks avoid taking action by always thinking they need more help, more advice, more confidence—more of “something” first! They think that the “more” they are seeking will come from other people. Actually, the “more” that will truly fulfill them involves focusing on goals that will expand them personally—and then taking consistent, daily action to reach those goals.
As parents, Capricorn North Node people often seem like “one of the kids,” because they approach children as equals rather than as parents. They are reluctant to assume the responsibilities of parenthood; they question their capability to take care of others when they are not even sure they can take care of themselves.
NEED FOR ATTENTION
Especially when they are young, these folks do anything for attention. Often when they act moody or snap at another person, it’s an attempt to gain attention. This attribute sometimes keeps them from exercising their achievement “muscles”—they think they should be given attention for who they are, not for what they do. They may even create crisis in their lives so other people will become interested in them. However, it’s a double-edged sword because they often sense this problem in themselves (the fact that they are “manic” for attention), so they feel guilty and berate themselves when they think they are getting too much attention.
When they are holding back and not reaching for their goals, they feel they don’t deserve attention and thereby keep themselves from receiving the very thing they crave the most. The irony is that when they set a goal and go for it, others do notice and willingly give them attention and respect in a healthy, satisfying way. In addition, when Capricorn North Nodes are taking chances with their lives and working toward their goals, they feel worthy and become open to noticing and receiving the attention they need from others.
It would also help these folks to begin paying attention to themselves; to give themselves credit for making improvements in various areas of their lives. When they show care and concern for themselves it mellows them; they begin to feel better about themselves and less dependent on others.
These folks hesitate to take full responsibility for themselves—it goes against their grain. They would have to “leave the womb” and go out into the world! Sometimes it takes a sledgehammer to wake them up and get them to take charge. They often appear to be taking responsibility, and with the “small stuff” they usually do: paying the bills, buying groceries, listening to family problems, and so on. But they continue to avoid larger issues. For example, when they try to figure out what to do with their lives, they just sit around and consider an endless stream of ideas. When they finally become motivated, they ask themselves: “Do I really want to do this?” Then they give up again!
Capricorn North Node people have a thousand excuses emanating from their subconscious, urging them to postpone working toward what they are here to do in this lifetime—what would truly make them fulfilled. If they finally say to themselves: “This is ridiculous! I’m just going to do it!” the commitment is made and they begin taking steps toward the goal.
Because these folks are very loving, their habit of yielding to others tends to interfere with their life. They may allow sympathy to cloud their vision because they don’t want to evoke an emotional response from others. They let others have their way, rather than holding to their own principles.
They need to re-examine their values in relation to how they show love. One value should be keeping commitments, which creates a basis of inner strength. Capricorn North Node people need to let others know what the rules and limits are, and then stick to them unflinchingly. If they say to their teenage son: “You may go out, but be back by 10 P.M. or you can’t go out for the next three nights,” they need to stand by that statement. If the teenager returns at 10:30 P.M., they must be willing to endure his temper tantrums over the next three nights to stand by what they said.
Of course, if they have done this consistently, the teenager will already understand that if he breaks the rules, his parents will stand by the punishment. But if the parents become “sympathetic” and let their son go out, he will cease to respect them, and they will cease to respect themselves. These folks must learn to stand behind their word. Their commitment must be stronger than their fear of upsetting the other person.
Capricorn North Node people are learning to become responsible for themselves in this lifetime: figuring out “what they want to be when they ‘grow up’” and clarifying their goals. Being responsible for themselves includes supporting themselves financially and finding other levels on which they have never taken charge before. That’s exciting and challenging—and it will give them a chance to grow!
LEARNING ADULT APPROACHES
Capricorn North Node people are learning to be adults in this lifetime and to discard their tendency to have childish reactions. To be adults requires them to actually make a commitment to a goal. When they do this, that area of their life becomes absolutely magical. Suddenly everything works to their advantage, they are filled with vitality and confidence, and they walk the pathway to success easily and with great joy. They need to use the technique of making commitments in areas of their life that are not yet yielding the results they want. Being willing to face the fear and develop the habit of making commitments is their key to self-respect and success.
These folks often have a “hyper” quality—they want to “get to the next thing.” This emotional restlessness prevents them from understanding what is important to them and following through. As soon as they focus on a specific personal goal, the restless emotional energy is channeled in a productive direction. Until then, they will only be working toward others’ goals, and will never notice the opportunities that are being presented to themselves.
Also, Capricorn North Node people sometimes doubt their own competence to take advantage of opportunities for themselves. In a childlike way, they think they’re supposed to know things that they truly don’t know, and they try to hide their lack of experience by pretending the information isn’t important to them. The adult perspective is to understand that everyone needs information from others to reach their goals—no one reaches a goal without input from others who are more experienced.
These people may also be too ready to obey outer authorities rather than listen to their own inner truth. They may blindly follow another’s expertise—especially if they’re paying a lot of money—even if, in their hearts, they know that something else works better. However, they are learning to trust themselves and remember that no one knows what will work for them as well as they do.
These folks have a tough time being the ultimate authority. They can take charge, instruct others, be the boss, and supervise lots of employees—under the auspices of someone else. It’s easier for them to work toward someone else’s goal. They don’t care about getting the credit, and they certainly don’t want the ultimate responsibility.
The irony is that Capricorn North Node people, more than any other nodal group, are gifted in their ability to be “the boss.” They are so emotionally sensitive to others that when they take charge, they do it in a way that does not diminish others. They are not blocked in reaching their goal because they haven’t alienated anyone along the way. As a result, however high their goal, everyone will support them in reaching it. In fact, they are scheduled for easy professional success this lifetime, once they’ve made the commitment to create it.
Often these folks think they are not good communicators, but they only have difficulty in this area when they become emotional. When they allow themselves to get lost in their emotions, they can’t think straight; then, when they speak, it’s just a jumble of emotion! However, if they pull back from their emotions and speak from the “in charge” part of themselves, they find the perfect words to evoke respect and cooperation from others. The difference is the part of themselves they access: the emotional part, or the adult part. If they become emotional, they can regain inner equilibrium by asking themselves: “What can I do to take charge of this situation from an adult point of view?”
For Capricorn North Node people, strength increases with age. This applies to every aspect of their life, but especially to their professional life or other areas of goal fulfillment. The passing years also help these folks to take things less personally. When things go “wrong” they understand that they are not personally at fault—different things come together to create a difficult situation. As Capricorn North Node people begin to expand and take a larger, more compassionate view, they also ease up on themselves. When they stop blaming themselves for everything, they also stop blaming others.
Capricorn North Node people have an insatiable need to feel secure. From past lives they are accustomed to being nurtured and protected, and although in this lifetime they are the ones scheduled to provide for others, they remain content to just breathe their way through life—to just get through it with as little exertion as possible! They like the safety of routines: waking up at a certain time, eating at a certain time, coming home, watching television or reading, going to bed at a certain time. Ultimately, however, they will have to leave their routines behind to find the greater security of self-confidence: knowing they can take risks and succeed.
These folks have a deep need to “belong.” In past lives, they strongly identified with their families and took comfort in being part of a group. Now they must learn to be discriminating and choose to spend time with people who give them that feeling of belonging—to satisfy their need in a responsible way. Home and property are also important in giving them a sense of security. (However, unless there are other factors in the birth chart indicating otherwise, these natives do not have very good “real estate karma” in terms of making money.)
Because of the focus on home, they may spend too much time there. When they do, the home can keep them from expanding and taking charge of their life. If these natives run their own business, it is generally a good idea for them not to run it from their home, but to rent a space—even if it has to be in someone else’s home. They need to get out into the world on a regular basis to keep their energy in motion. Excessive time at home can make them too comfortable and life can become a routine they use to avoid interacting with the outside world. Then the opportunity for true vitality, growth, and progress is aborted.
Capricorn North Node people are afraid that they don’t belong—and they don’t know how to behave in order to be accepted. So they look around to see what behaviors are approved of by “the group” and then emulate those behaviors. They crave intimacy, and the only way they can think to get it is by yielding to the group. However, going along when they don’t really want to can be a source of deep disappointment for them. The group generally doesn’t reciprocate by yielding to them.
These folks can also get derailed when they become part of a “clan” or “clique” because they apply their “adopted” principles to other groups, which leaves them feeling alienated. And they don’t understand why! The problem with trying to meet their need to belong by becoming part of a clique is that it implies exclusion of other groups—they think they only belong with a limited number of people. Although it does work to pledge themselves to a cause that is greater than their personal life, problems arise when they forget to discriminate. For example, if they have fervor about Republican politics when they’re in a group of Republicans, that group will make them feel as if they belong. But the same fervor will make them feel alienated in a room full of Democrats. If they want to feel accepted, they should focus on whatever principles they have in common with the people they’re speaking to.
FEAR OF FAILURE VERSUS SELF-RESPECT
Capricorn North Node people have such an exaggerated fear of failure that it cripples them, stopping them from making the changes that could lead to success. As long as they are afraid they are going to fail, they think they can “get away with” depending on others. They think they “aren’t quite ready” to be adults and seek opportunities for success. However, sooner or later they recognize that no one else is going to take care of them—it’s just not set up that way in this lifetime.
Sometimes these folks use any excuse whatsoever—even their age—to avoid facing their fears and going out in the world. After years of wrestling with themselves and finally deciding they won’t be fulfilled until they accomplish their “mission,” they may decide that their age will interfere with attaining the goal. Fear of aging can—for these folks—be a reflection of the part of them that doesn’t want to grow up.
However, Capricorn North Nodes are the very people who should embrace age: “Thank goodness I’ve finally reached maturity!” What they’ll be embracing is a willingness to start working toward a goal that will make life meaningful, bring them fulfillment, and give them self-respect. With these folks, it is illogical to think that age could work against them professionally: The roles they seek are usually enhanced by age, as it gives them more power, credibility, and authority. While they can also achieve their goals early on, often it is in the second half of life that Capricorn North Nodes finally take a stand. Thus, when they feel pressured by age considerations, it’s really their psyche saying: “It’s time!”
These people recognize that they will be much more unhappy if they never try to attain their goal than if they try and fail—as long as they give it 100 percent of their effort. The voice that keeps saying: “What if you fail?” is part of the past-life mechanism that doesn’t want them to be out in the world. It’s really saying: “Don’t grow up … Don’t go out,” and this is self-defeating. If they listen to that voice, they will never gain self-respect.
In a past life the Capricorn North Node may have had a husband who didn’t allow her to go out, or an overprotective parent whose voice she has internalized. But it finally boils down to saying: “Okay—that’s it,” and taking charge of her situation. In that instant, her position in life makes a complete turnaround. When these natives are willing to take full responsibility, they begin to exercise control over their lives and gain a sense of self-respect, which is what they need more than anything else.
In fact, when Capricorn North Node people are in doubt about whether a specific action is correct, they can use the barometer of self-respect to determine if they are “on path.” For example, if they are anxious about making a phone call, they can ask themselves: “Regardless of the outcome, will making this call give me a sense of self-respect?” If the answer is yes, they will “win” by making the call. If the answer is no, they should re-think their position.
Capricorn North Nodes like to float along in an emotional haze, which automatically puts them in a “one down” position. But when they approach life from a “take charge” position, everything shifts and they feel empowered. Yet there’s a lot of fear around doing this because they’re not accustomed to it, and they’re afraid of not being perfect or not being competent. But regardless of how long they postpone, sooner or later in this lifetime they will have to stand up and take charge. The sooner they make this shift in attitude, the sooner they’ll start enjoying themselves.
For example, I had a Capricorn North Node client who wanted to be a teacher. Many educators go right into teaching after college, but he postponed it until he had earned three college degrees—and even then he didn’t feel ready to be in a position where he would be expected to “take charge.” Ultimately, he just did it—and that’s what it takes for these folks. Once they take the plunge and “just do it,” their success validates their abilities.
Once these natives are in charge, they are in control of their emotional needs and can be sure they are taken care of. No longer at the mercy of other people, they finally feel self-sufficient and secure.
MAINTAINING A POSITIVE FOCUS
Capricorn North Node people are good at encouraging others to pursue their dreams by offering motivation, enthusiasm, and supportive energy. Now they are learning how to encourage themselves. Although these folks are subject to dark moods, they are very resilient. They don’t “get down and stay down”; when they’re pushed down, they get back up. They just have to remember that if things don’t turn out exactly as they want, that’s okay. Their challenge is to go out and give it their best shot.
These folks have an unparalleled connection with their emotions. When they say: “I’ll bet you can do it!” with feeling, it reassures others and themselves that they can indeed accomplish their goals. Because they have such a strong mind-feeling connection, they also are good healers. However, to truly be a source of encouragement for themselves and their loved ones, they need to overcome the habit of dwelling on the potentially negative consequences of every situation. They think they’re “protecting” the other person from being hurt down the line, but actually they’re creating roadblocks in that person’s path. They need to focus only on achieving positive results. These natives are not normally courageous and do not take the chances that those in other nodal signs might be inclined to take. Thus, when people they care about are excited to take a chance in life, these folks need to consciously show a positive attitude.
The best bet for Capricorn North Node people is to overcome their fear by concentrating on creating success. For these folks, looking at the negative side only drains energy from the focus they need to win. They must remind themselves of past successes and concentrate on the nuts and bolts of how to attain specific goals. When they learn to focus on the positive, their emotions will support them in creating the results they want and in encouraging others to succeed as well.
These folks often come from a framework of limited goals. From past lives of spending all their time in family environments, these natives are new at being in the world, and they lack the confidence that comes from experience. But in this lifetime, it’s set up for them to win every time they take charge and accept the opportunities presented to them. Through positive experiences they will gain confidence in their own abilities. They need to recognize that since their goals are often “safe” and not based on taking risks, it will benefit them to be open to other people’s input. This input can help them expand to new levels they wouldn’t have thought of on their own.
Capricorn North Node people may think they’re very open, but actually they have a lot of trouble sharing how they feel. They can appear shallow to others, since they don’t see very far beyond their immediate situation. They may understand things easily—they are often very intelligent—but putting their ideas into practice is tough for them. They have so many negative thoughts that it’s difficult for them to accomplish things or to face issues in a positive way.
They avoid issues partly because they imagine so many reasons why the other person responded in a certain way—without asking the other person what is really going on. They get “feelings” and “hunches” about why the person rejected them, or said what he said, and so on. However, their instincts are nearly always wrong. If they look back over previous experiences, they notice that what they suspected was behind other people’s behavior was often inaccurate. Thus, their best bet is to directly ask the other person why he responded in the way he did, and then listen to what he says.
It helps if these folks have a specific goal in mind before trying to resolve an issue with another person: wanting to create unity, wanting to end the relationship, wanting feedback so they can modify their behavior to get better results, and so on. If they have a defined goal—separate from the feelings of the people involved—it helps them remain objective. For example, if they have to fire an employee, focusing on the goal—firing the employee—is the only thing that keeps them from being lost in the intensity of the ensuing feelings.
In resolving a misunderstanding in a friendship, their best bet is to have a goal in mind and let the other person know their intention: “Look, there’s something I want to share with you, and I want you to know that my intention is to create greater closeness between us.” When Capricorn North Nodes take charge and let the other person know their feelings have been hurt, they often find that the other person didn’t realize how they were affected.
These folks are learning to be forthright and have integrity about what they do and do not know. Because they tend to feel incompetent when they don’t have all the answers, they often do nothing in situations that seem overwhelming—or else they respond with a behavior pattern from their past. They are learning to acknowledge when they do not have the answers—by speaking directly to the other person—and to get more feedback about what the other person needs. For example, I had a client with this nodal position who taught high school students how to play all the band instruments. He was proficient on the drums and knew the other instruments only superficially. One day a student approached him with a question about the trumpet: “How do you play an F note?”
My client was worried: “What if I tell him the wrong thing? I’ll look stupid!” But he knew there were different ways he could respond. He could intimidate the student: “What do you mean? You don’t know?”—which would deny the student the help he needed. Or he could say: “Listen, I don’t know right now, but I’ll check on it and get back to you.” When these folks say “I don’t know,” it makes them equal with others and promotes the feeling of intimacy they seek. When they follow through and find the information, they generate respect and appreciation.
The first step is to have the humility to admit “I don’t know.” Then they can seek more information. When they take the other route (intimidating the person with an overly emotional response), they distance themselves, and mistrust and defensiveness result instead of the intimacy they desire.
FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL BONDAGE
RELEASING THE PAST
Capricorn North Node people often dislike, and feel alienated from, one or both of their parents. They may not overtly express this, but deep down it is true. They may think their parents didn’t give them the support they needed to successfully go out into the world. Or they may think their parents tried to make them into someone other than the person they were destined to be. These thoughts can cause them to achieve less than what their innate capabilities would allow. In a subconscious attempt to punish their parents for this injustice, they may keep themselves from reaching their goals. For example, if a parent once told the Capricorn North Node she was a failure or made her feel that she was “not good enough,” she may sabotage herself in order to punish her parent for the mistreatment: “See—I’m not a success, and it’s all your fault!”
To be successful, these folks have to be willing to put their own best interests and self-respect ahead of the desire to cast their parents or others as wrong. They have to be willing to say: “Yes, you are right. I am capable of more than what I was achieving before.” This requires maturity. It also requires a conscious effort not to dwell on the past, and to stay focused on what makes their lives strong in the present—doing things that bring them self-respect.
MASTERING THE EMOTIONS
Capricorn North Node people are so sensitive that they are aware of all levels of communication, including others’ words, feelings, and body language—and all the discrepancies and uncertainties that accompany them! When someone communicates a decision to them, they are immediately aware of all the contradictory feelings underneath. For example, if they are invited to someone’s home for dinner and they say “No thank you,” even if the person says “Fine, another time,” these folks will stew for hours about how, underneath, the person had many other feelings—which may or may not be true! These folks need to remember that the friend, taking into account his or her feelings of disappointment, sadness, understanding, and caring, decided to respond by saying: “Fine, another time.” They are learning to attune to others’ actual responses—not to the feelings they imagine are underneath.
These people always do better if they have time to think things through, because an unexpected event or new information can cause their emotions to boil over and confuse their thinking. Sometimes, if they can’t find a solution or make a decision immediately, they react with frustration. They can’t get a handle on how to respond because there is so much emotional interference. But taking a stand involves making a decision, and there are contradictory feelings about nearly every decision one makes. The idea is to focus on the decision and not on the possible repercussions. Handling negative repercussions is simply an opportunity to grow and become stronger.
These natives also need a defined goal to keep from being lost in their emotions. If you place a handful of crabs in a barrel, the crabs will remain on the bottom of the barrel even if the lid is off and they have the opportunity to climb up to freedom. Occasionally, one crab may start climbing up the side of the barrel, and all the other crabs will pull him back down to the bottom again. For Capricorn North Node people, their emotions are like fearful and possessive crabs: They always pull these natives back down until they simply make up their minds to go for the freedom and let nothing hold them back!
Sometimes these folks need to suffer an incident that wakes them up to the necessity of facing their emotions—then life becomes much easier. Up to that point, they are victimized by their emotions—totally overwhelmed by their feelings on a regular basis. Until they learn to put their feelings in perspective, their emotions represent something scary and “out of control” that they want to avoid. When these natives indulge in negativity, the negative feelings overwhelm them and they even begin to experience negative physical reactions.
One of their greatest challenges in this lifetime is discriminating between positive feelings and debilitating, negative emotions. There are four primary emotions that, when indulged, are a Pandora’s box for Capricorn North Node people: Fear, Anger, Guilt, and Insecurity. They absolutely cannot afford to indulge in any of these four emotions, because they don’t know when to stop! Once they get into Guilt, for example, they can never feel guilty “enough”—they keep piling it on and it lasts for a lifetime.
These folks are so conditioned to indulging the negative feelings that they don’t even know they’re doing it. The first step is to notice when they are experiencing one of the four emotions and to be aware of the consequences. For example, when they allow themselves to become angry, for a brief period they may actually be “mad” (that is, insane). They say and do things they wouldn’t say or do if they were thinking clearly. They need to notice the consequences of acting on any of those four emotions, and they will see the disintegrating effect. Then they can learn to stop, just as they wouldn’t keep their hand on a hot stove once they see that it’s getting burned.
Other nodal groups know where to draw the line and can use these emotions as a “wake-up call” to change their behavior. But Capricorn North Node people are addicted to their emotions and absolutely cannot allow themselves to indulge in any of the “big four”—just as alcoholics cannot allow themselves to take even one drink. Fear, Anger, Guilt, and Insecurity are not only mentally debilitating but physically dangerous as well. On the other hand, Joy, Love, and Appreciation are pleasurable and healthy. In fact, any other emotions—aside from the “big four”—are fine for these folks, because they don’t lead to uncontrolled excess.