and North Node in the 3rd House
ATTRIBUTES TO DEVELOP
Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents
Asking questions to learn how others think
Seeing both sides of a situation
Communication of internal dichotomies
A positive approach to life and other people
Purposely cheering up others
Using a nonthreatening approach when expressing ideas
Openness to new ideas and experiences
Seeking factual information before making decisions
TENDENCIES TO LEAVE BEHIND
Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can help make life easier and more enjoyable:
Assuming others know “where they’re at”
Thinking one knows what others are saying without really listening
Needing to be right
Espousing “Truth,” without taking others’ views into account
Taking oneself too seriously; having a ponderous approach to life
Acting on intuition without checking the facts
Resisting ideas that are foreign to one’s belief system
Prejudging present situations on the basis of past experience
The Achilles’ heel Gemini North Node people need to be aware of is self-righteousness (“If other people would just acknowledge that I am right and appreciate me for it, I would feel understood and accepted”), which can lead them into the trap of an unending search for Truth (“If I have all the right answers, everyone will value me; then I can relax and feel connected to people”). But it’s a bottomless pit: Since it’s impossible to be “right” all the time, they never feel good about themselves. And when they argue and try to convince people that they are right, others don’t want to connect with them.
However, if they have enough humility and openness to really listen to a variety of viewpoints—even those that don’t fit with their previous experiences—they can get to know people in a way that helps them feel more connected. The bottom line is that at some point they have to release their preoccupation with absolute Truth and simply begin to relate to people as they are, listening to others and learning from them. The irony is that in the process of this more equitable and relaxed interaction, Truth is more successfully communicated. And when Gemini North Node people really listen to what is important to others, their responses are more appropriate and helpful. Then people do appreciate them and want to connect with them.
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
These you want to be totally free to pursue Truth, have adventures, be spontaneous, and be right 100 percent of the time. They want to speak completely from their Truth and their intuitive processes, and to have everyone understand them, learn from them, and appreciate their help.
To attain this goal, Gemini North Node people must stop focusing on “their Truth” and begin to focus on the people around them. They need to listen to—and understand—the information that others share about their lives. When Gemini North Node people listen in this way, sometimes they have an “aha!” insight that is exactly the perspective that the other person needs. And because this information accurately addresses the other’s problem, it will be gratefully accepted.
These people have the ability (when they listen) to tune in to the specific thought process of others and supply information that allows others to view problems from an expanded perspective. Selling, writing, teaching, and communicating in all forms can bring them happiness as well as material success.
Gifts in the areas of philosophy and religion, and an innate awareness of ethics and morality, are also available to Gemini North Node people. They can use their spiritual and intuitive awareness to understand the thinking of others without losing their own Truth. However, if they involve themselves professionally in the pursuit of Truth or religion as a final aim, they may ultimately feel isolated. They are better off when they use their natural talents to deeply connect with others on a day-to-day basis.
“This is a people-oriented lifetime.”
“I can slow down and take the time to connect with others.”
“When I tune in to how others think, I know what to say.”
“When I am willing to listen and learn about the other person, I win.”
“If I don’t understand, it’s okay to ask questions.”
Gemini North Node people have had two very different kinds of past life experiences with one common denominator: the pursuit of truth. They have had incarnations where they pursued Truth on their own—as traveling sadhus in India, wandering nomads in the desert, hermits, or simple people going into the wilderness alone to learn nature’s secrets. They have also had many incarnations seeking Truth as a collective ideal, becoming absorbed in religious organizations. Either way, seeking after Truth, spirituality, ethics, and enlightenment has motivated their entire lives, and society and human relationships were neglected.
These folks have had many incarnations as Philosopher Kings. Lifetime after lifetime, whether Buddhist, Hebrew, Moslem, or Christian, they left everyone around them to pursue Truth. This is why, in this life, they still tend to leave everyone and go off on their own. All throughout their previous incarnations they sought enlightenment—climbing to the top of the mountain to reach the pinnacle of Truth. But after so many incarnations with the same focus, they found it! There’s no need for them to continue the search in this lifetime. In the end, on their mountaintop, they became isolated and lonely. Now, in this lifetime, the challenge is to share their Truth, rejoining society and staying connected with others.
Self-righteousness can be Gemini North Nodes’ biggest stumbling block to effectively relating to people and feeling the peace and love that are inherent in true connectedness. As they were philosophers and priests in past lives, other people followed their instructions. They are used to being regarded as always being “right” without question, so it is understandable that they enter this incarnation with a certain arrogance. However, other people can sense this superior attitude, and this prevents them from listening to the Gemini North Node person. As a result, Gemini North Node people start to feel that other people are undervaluing their intelligence because they won’t listen. This is an example of how they suffer from a communication problem.
Due to the loneliness and isolation of their past lives, Gemini North Node people may seem like they can carry on hours of conversation all by themselves. They may remember to ask the other person a generalized question such as “How’s it going?” but if the other person turns the attention back on them, they take the opportunity and run with it. They can go on and on about everything that’s happening in their lives, recount their memories, tell a dozen stories and emerge the hero in every one … without the other person adding a single word to the conversation. Never getting a chance to interact or share his or her own story, the other person loses interest in the Gemini North Node person.
After so many lifetimes of being lonely, these folks feel a need to talk constantly. They are not comfortable with silence because they associate it with isolation. Now they want to relate to other people; so if there’s a silence in the interaction, they feel like there’s a “problem” and will talk about anything simply to fill the void.
They are learning that conversation is a process of skillful interaction: It has to do with sharing one’s point of view with a sensitivity to how the other person is hearing it, inviting response, and being open to feedback. These folks need to remember to shine the spotlight on other people from time to time, asking them questions about their lives and sharing a point of view about the others’ lives that might be helpful. If Gemini North Node people keep the spotlight on themselves for too long, they lose the energy the other people add to the interaction. When they feel this loss of energy, it should signal them to let the other person talk. Conversation is like breathing—an inhale andan exhale; Gemini North Node is learning that both people should have a chance to participate regardless of which person is the focus of attention.
For example, when telling someone about a confrontation they had with a co-worker, they could say: “What do you think about that? Do you think I judged the situation correctly?” After the other person responds, they could ask: “How was your day? Was it peaceful or did you also have confrontations?” If they think the other person doesn’t want to talk, they need to check it out by asking: “Would you rather not talk about this, or do you have something else on your mind?” To keep the vitality going in a conversation, both people must be actively involved. Once these folks get the idea of how conversation works, they become experts at it.
Gemini North Node people are learning to see communication as a vehicle for curiosity—wanting to learn about the other person. They need to welcome input from others because, when combined with their own ideas and insights, it can produce a truth that is more powerful than either “truth” by itself.
Sometimes these folks appear combative. They think they have something important to say and are afraid that they will not be understood. So they put a lot of enthusiasm and energy into the communication to be sure they get their point across. They can become so fiery and adamant that others may feel attacked and respond defensively. Then, because the other person appears to be resisting their communication, they may become even more adamant until the interaction escalates in an irrational, overly emotional way. But they need to recognize that it’s their presentation that is being resisted, not their point of view.
Gemini North Node people have a tendency to speak in a very direct manner—delivering their opinion as unalterable Truth—and any discussion of their Truth can lead to an argument. They may actually enjoy this and consider it a stimulating interchange of ideas, whereas the other person may see it as an empty battle of wits. This can keep them from interacting with friends on a daily basis, because people get tired of the battle after a while. Gemini North Node people need to learn to pull back and listen more carefully to the other person. They need to recognize that their strength is in clear quiet thought, not emotion. Their insights (when they have heard the correct question) are often powerful, accurate solutions, and when they speak them in a nondramatic way, the power of the idea can really be heard.
These people need to credit the intelligence of other people and trust that they will recognize Truth without it being jammed down their throats. Gemini North Node people are learning the importance of replacing impatience with respect if they wish to truly get their point across and connect with people successfully.
Another reason these folks are so ardent in the delivery of their ideas is that they want acknowledgment that their Truth is “right.” It validates their self-esteem and helps them to relax to know that their viewpoint is accepted. But these folks need to recognize that Truth stands on its own merit and doesn’t need energy from their egos to propel it, or fanfare to signal its accuracy. In fact, the more quietly Truth can be delivered, the better, so that the other person feels the serenity to receive it. Regardless of how noble their motive is, these folks may not use the fiery energy of personal ego to enforce their point of view. Others simply won’t listen.
PATIENCE AND FRUSTRATION
Gemini North Node people are learning to be patient with themselves and others in working out glitches in communication. They’re not used to talking. After all, they’ve been on mountaintops; what do they know about communication? It’s as though they’re speaking Latin while the people around them are speaking English. They need to have patience and slow down, take a few extra moments to translate, and really listen to what the other person has said.
Most of their problems in communicating are caused by inappropriate responses, which stem from not really hearing what other people are saying. Here is a simple example: Gemini North Node has a friend working in a booth at the County Fair who needs to count out exactly 100 apples. As she’s counting—“67, 68, 69, 70 …”—people keep stopping by and interrupting her, and she loses count. Well, the friend has a problem, so naturally the Gemini North Node person will magically show up because he is a person with all the answers! The friend says: “These apples are for the County Fair. I need to count …” but the Gemini North Node person will hear the first few words and not the rest. He assumes he knows what the problem is, so he drifts off. He “comes back” when he notices the other person has stopped talking, but since he never truly heard what the problem was, he is likely to give an inappropriate answer: “Oh, don’t worry about it—apples are two for a quarter down at the fairgrounds!” The friend will be irritated, because she had a genuine problem and wasn’t given the answer she needed. And the Gemini North Node person will be frustrated because he went out of his way to help and his friend didn’t appreciate it. Both people lost.
Instead of getting frustrated, the Gemini North Node person needs to stop and think: “Okay—since she didn’t accept my answer, that means I didn’t communicate effectively. Perhaps I didn’t fully understand the problem.” He needs to return to the friend with an apology: “Gosh, I’m sorry—maybe I didn’t really understand your problem. Would you tell me again?” The friend will appreciate that he cared enough to come back, and when they start communicating again: “I need to count 100 apples for the fair,” the Gemini North Node person can listen carefully and see the problem accurately. Then he may suggest: “Well, why don’t you make ten piles of ten apples each?” Instantly the friend will be relieved: “Thank you! That’s the answer I was looking for!” When the other person gratefully accepts the answer, there is a “high” for both parties and both people win.
BEARERS OF TRUTH
Often, these folks don’t realize the full impact of the messages they deliver. In the above example, the friend may go home that night and suddenly realize: “You know, that’s the reason my whole life doesn’t work! I have it all jammed together, and what I need to do is to organize it into smaller segments that I can deal with!” Gemini North Node people must never judge any subject to be not worth talking about. If someone is sincerely interested and seeking information, these folks should always try to help the other person find it. Gemini North Node people are bearers of Truth, and in helping others find the information they seek, they often reveal a larger Truth.
In past lives, freedom was very important for Gemini North Node people—to discover their Truth they had to be free. Now they have “tapes” in their subconscious that say over and over: “I’ve got to be free; I’ve got to be free.” But in this lifetime, listening to such tapes is not to their advantage. If they’re in a relationship, really understanding what the other person is saying and creating tremendous rapport, and all of a sudden “I’ve got to be free; I’ve got to be free” comes on in their mind, they will pull themselves out of the interaction. Then they go off by themselves and think they will feel free, but instead they feel lonely (one more mountaintop!) and say: “What’s going on? There’s no energy here at all.”
But it’s healthy for these folks to go back and say: “Gosh, I’ve changed my mind.” This is not a lifetime where they have to be right all the time. They need to be honest when they have two different responses to something. For example, they may want to stay in a relationship and at the same time fear that by staying they won’t be able to do what they want to do. At that point, Gemini North Node people need to honestly communicate their dichotomies: “To tell you the truth, I’ve got two things going on here. On the one hand I want to stay, on the other hand I’m afraid that if I get really close I won’t be able to do the things on my own that I need to do.” Or with their children they might say: “I understand what’s going on with you and that you need a lot of space, but we need to have a certain amount of discipline in this family to make the unit work.” When they share both sides of the issue, the answer will present itself. The person will understand what they are saying and come into alignment with them.
Just being aware that they have “freedom tapes” is a big part of resolving this issue. The tapes are like a muscle in the subconscious that got overexercised, and now it’s going to assert itself at the most inopportune times. So if they tune in to where the voice is coming from, they can choose to not take it too seriously.
INTERNAL CONFLICTS, DOUBTS AND FEARS
In many past lifetimes as spiritual counselors, mentors, or advisors, Gemini North Node people have had to be in positions of certainty when others expressed doubts and fears. Their subconscious tells them: “You’re supposed to know all the answers.” Their goals required complete faith and trust; so in this lifetime, their subconscious tries to invalidate any fears or doubts that come up.
They tend to rationalize by comparing themselves to others in ways that invalidate their own feelings. For example, a Gemini North Node person may say: “You know, I’m really not happy in my job … but I don’t know what I want to do right now … and I’m lucky to even have a job! And nobody likes their job!” These folks present themselves as having it all figured out. They won’t say: “I have no clue what I want to do with my life.” They’ll say instead: “I’m planning to go to law school” and then give six reasons why they’re doing it. They’ll even list the disadvantages: “I’ve already thought about the negative side of it, but I think that’s what I want to do.” When they present themselves to others as having all the answers, this attitude cuts off—rather than invites—the communication, interaction, and sharing that could provide them with new information and insights.
They are hesitant to elicit the ideas and opinions of others because they don’t want to feel weak—they don’t want to face the fact that they actually don’t have all the answers. Because they are afraid that the other person is going to tell them something they don’t want to hear, they inadvertently converse in a way that discourages others from having any input in the conversation. These folks also fear that true communication with others might expose something deeper about themselves, which would allow their fears, doubts, and inner confusion to begin to rise.
LIVING IN SOCIETY
Gemini North Node is learning that in society there is freedom of choice. Not everyone is following the same set of rules. As each one of us pursues our individual pathway, it’s okay to be uncertain and have doubts and to have the humility to ask others for their opinion—in fact, it’s encouraged. Cooperation empowers people to use their talents to express themselves, achieve their desires, and do things that benefit not only themselves but other people and society as a whole.
On the mountaintop Gemini North Node people were on their own, but in society we all have strengths and weaknesses. Folks get together and share information—the plumber knows about plumbing, the lawyer knows about law, and so on. However, Gemini North Node people are not accustomed to seeking help. They think it shows a lack of intelligence. Yet society operates from the basic assumption that nobody knows everything. We’re all in the same boat, so the person with the most expertise directs the ship.
Gemini North Node people may isolate themselves from the comfort and camaraderie of interdependence because they are resistant to other people telling them what to do, especially if the others seem to know less about Truth than they do. However, in this incarnation they must learn to live successfully in society—and there are plenty of people who know more about that than they do! Gemini North Node people should remember that humility is beneficial because it allows them to listen to and learn from others. They need to find out how to “be themselves” and still be a cooperative part of society. Moreover, humility allows them to learn that Truth is a universal energy that can come through anyone, so they should be open to all points of view.
These folks are learning to accept duality: the contradictions in others and the duality of their own natures. By pursuing only Truth in past lives, they became isolated from the experience of being human. In this incarnation, their mission is to learn about human nature all over again.
Planet Earth runs on the principles of yin and yang, night and day, cold and hot, receptive and creative, female and male—seeming opposites that make a whole. Gemini North Node people will better understand life, people, and situations when they see the “flip side” of the coin. They are still learning to see, accept, and be interested in both sides, rather than take the attitude that “It’s just a coin; big deal.” Rather than discounting internal conflicts, they are learning about the peace of mind that comes from honestly and lovingly accepting the contradictory parts of their own nature. Therefore, Gemini North Node people shouldn’t worry about having the total picture. It’s okay for them not to “know”—in fact, in this lifetime it’s preferable! Thinking they already know everything blocks their openness to new information that might improve their understanding of the situation.
These folks are also hesitant to tell people things because they project that others don’t want to hear difficult truths. So when someone tells them “I left this job,” “I broke up with so-and-so,” or “I decided not to go to law school,” then the Gemini North Node person will say: “I didn’t want to tell you, but I never liked him.” Or, “I didn’t think law school was a good idea for you.” The other person may say: “Why didn’t you tell me a long time ago?” But these folks are afraid of hurting others by “speaking the truth.” They need to recognize that simply expressing their own opinion might be helpful to the other person.
However, the motive behind offering their opinion plays a vital role in how their advice is received. If their motive is to offer love and support, the other person will feel their good intention and be open to their input. But if their motive is to be judgmental or to be “right,” the other person will respond defensively. If Gemini North Node people truly want to help, the interaction works smoothly. They should offer their perception as another point of view, a gift of caring, and let the other person figure out whether or not it’s right for the situation at hand.
Gemini North Node people have a tendency to blind optimism that can lead them to jump into things without thoroughly checking all the facts. Sometimes they intuitively feel that someone is being dishonest with them, but they may override that feeling with high hopes for great returns and the attitude that “everything is going to work out.” When they become aware of this imbalance, they need to force themselves to acknowledge their other options. This will restore their self-confidence.
When they recognize that they are not in a logical situation, they need to fall back on their own strength. But they don’t always feel capable of handling things. They tend to blindly trust people they feel are better able to take care of themselves in the real world. And because they are trustworthy, they project that others are trustworthy as well—and this can get them into a lot of trouble.
These folks should rely on others to help them; however, they should not do this blindly. Their challenge is to understand the people around them, and not to trust just anyone out of fear that they have no other choices. They need to listen to the other person’s words, and because Gemini North Node people are basically truthful, they can tell when others are not being truthful with them.
Gemini North Node people don’t necessarily expect the people they’re with to tell them the truth. They think that other people work from some other point of reference where it’s all right to be dishonest, tell white lies, hide money, and so on. And since they themselves would never do these things, they feel that others are operating from a lesser level of integrity. Once again their past life experience with its strict moral code comes into the picture, and these folks have a tough time dealing with what they perceive to be the “dishonesty and games” of other people.
These folks need to recognize that their function is to reinfuse spiritual ethics and Truth into the mindsets of others. If they cast others as being “wrong” for not being “moral,” naturally others will resist their insights—no one wants to feel like a sinner! So they need to support people in integrating the spiritual path into their daily lives. At the same time, they must be open to other views and temper the rigidity of their own position.
When Gemini North Node people give their word, they keep it—it’s a matter of morality to them. And they expect those around them to play by the rules both parties have agreed on. When other people talk about doing something and then don’t do it—for whatever reason—these folks can get extremely upset. They want the initial agreement to be acknowledged, and they want to be consulted about any changes.
For example, if they agreed to clean the attic with someone and then something came up, they would say: “We said we were going to clean the attic today, but it’s looking like we’re not going to have time. Is everybody okay with that?” They hate things to be said and then not followed up on. Yet they don’t know how to bring this trait to other people’s attention—they don’t want to upset the others or have them deny that the discrepancy is happening. It can be an area of serious confusion for these folks.
When such discrepancies occur, it is usually for one of three basic reasons:
It may be the result of an initial misunderstanding that the Gemini North Node person let pass without clarification, even though he didn’t feel good about it at the time. If he has to clear up something from the past, he needs to stay with the facts of the situation: “Yesterday I heard you say _____, and now I hear you say _____.I don’t understand the discrepancy. Will you please explain this to me so I can understand better what you’re saying?” If his motive is truly to understand, and not just wanting to make the other person appear wrong, this approach will work. Otherwise, the other person will become uncomfortable and respond defensively.
The other person may not have really said what Gemini North Node heard—there’s a lot of miscommunication in these folks’ lives. If Gemini North Node can remember the words closely, he can say: “Yesterday I heard you say _____. Did you mean _____, or did you mean something else?”
It is also possible that the other person felt strongly about a situation one day, and then—due to a change in circumstances, perception, or feedback—changed her mind and felt just as strongly in another direction the following day. Part of living in society is learning how to adapt and change direction in response to feedback from others. People put an idea out into the world, and depending on how others respond to it, the idea is continued or changed to best accomplish the goal. For example, someone might be convinced that advertising in Magazine A would increase business. Then, after getting a limited response, he or she might be equally convinced that Magazine A was not a good advertising bet, put an ad in Magazine B, or use an entirely different media outlet.
Gemini North Node people might see these situations as discrepancies, but they simply represent the process of intelligent adaptation to feedback from the environment. From past lives in religious environments, these folks are used to seeking eternal truths: absolute universal laws that never change. But in this incarnation they are learning to move about in a social environment, and they need to have the humility to listen and learn about how the rules work in this environment. Such recognition will also help them be more open to others. Others’ responses can help these folks determine whether or not they are truly making a contribution and effectively adding positive energy to the situation.
ACCEPTANCE AND SHARING
Gemini North Node people feel a sense of urgency about getting their point across and being “heard.” Underneath this urgency, however, what they really want is to feel accepted. Acceptance is an accurate barometer for them of whether of not they are “on path.” When other people accept what they are saying, it’s a signal that they are communicating effectively. If others don’t accept their words, it’s a signal that they need to pull back and recast their message in words that the others can understand.
For these folks, truths are like sacred stepping-stones—the very foundations of their perceptions. They hesitate to share their truths because they are afraid that others will think they’re crazy or judge them for pondering Truth instead of thinking about making money or other material concerns. They want to reveal themselves to others, but their sacred Truth is so intangible that it’s difficult to talk about directly, and the other person often loses interest. Then Gemini North Node gets frustrated because he doesn’t know how to communicate his philosophy in just a few words.
It’s like walking into a dentist’s office with a toothache. The patient wants to know: Shall we fill the tooth, pull the tooth, cap the tooth, or do a root canal? She does not want the dentist to tell her about all his experiences in dental school. Because all the years the dentist spent studying support his view of what should be done with the tooth, the patient will feel the learning behind his simple, factual opinion. Likewise, Gemini North Node people need to learn to answer the immediate need of the other person, giving what may seem to be a temporary or simplistic answer rather than an entire philosophy. This is what is scheduled to work for them in the present incarnation.
Truth is an energy, not a concept. These folks are actually seeking the energy of Truth, but they need to remember that it is not scheduled to come in a ponderous way. As they exchange ideas with others in order to solve problems in their daily lives, they will get in touch with the Truth they are looking for. When they help others break through even a superficial problem or misunderstanding, the energy of the Truth will come through and everyone involved will share resolution and peace of mind. In this incarnation, Gemini North Node people are scheduled to access the Truth through simple, daily interactions and genuine connections with others.
STAYING IN THE PRESENT
Gemini North Node people have a tendency to be so concerned with distant, overall solutions that they don’t allow themselves to feel the joy of the moment. They are still looking for “eternal truths.” However, in this incarnation they need to be more concerned with “here and now” solutions and recognize that if they (and those around them) are happy in each moment, the moments will add up and the happiness will last.
The same is true in their business affairs. They can be so concerned with the “larger picture” that they lose sight of how to create an immediately successful situation. They need to be more aware of time, budgeting their projects into specific blocks for completion, instead of feeling that they have “forever” to handle material concerns.
For example, I had a Gemini North Node client who owned a duplex rental property. When one of his tenants moved out, some minor plumbing repairs were required. Rather than handle that and rent it out again, he decided it was a good time to do a thorough plumbing overhaul. Then he decided it would be a good time to shore up the foundation—which required a major expenditure of time and money (which he didn’t have) as well as lifting the house off its present foundation (“in order to do a thorough job”). He kept thinking that somewhere down the line (these folks always think in terms of eternity!) it would have to be done, so he might as well handle it now. Since he didn’t have the resources to finish the job immediately, the vacancy continued for month after month. When the family on the top floor moved out, he expanded the project to include the upstairs plumbing (“it would have to be done eventually”). The property had been completely vacant for nine months when he came to see me; due to lack of rental income, he was in danger of losing it.
These folks are learning the value of temporary solutions, handling problems when they arise and not projecting too far into the future. Otherwise, they lose the strong foundation that provides a base for future expansion. Life on planet Earth is temporary—eternity only exists in consciousness. They need to shorten their view and put their current affairs in order. They need to look at all the salient facts of a situation—the upside and the downside—and use their logic.
SENSE OF PURPOSE
While in some areas of life Gemini North Node people are too patient, they simultaneously try to take shortcuts in other areas. But illogical shortcuts always result in more work in the long run because these folks will have to go back, slow down, and do it all over again. They rush to get everything and everyone out of their way so they can be “free” for more important things. Often this inner restlessness is associated with feeling lost. In fact, they do need a purpose to give their life direction. However, it’s up to them to define that purpose—and it has to be more than the pursuit of Truth. They must have an individual, “in the present” purpose that connects them to society; until they define that purpose, they will feel lost. This is one reason these folks change jobs so frequently. If their current occupation doesn’t satisfy their inner sense of purpose, they have no qualms about leaving and trying something completely new to see if it “fits.” They are willing to go through as much formal education as it takes to prepare for the job they think might “do it” for them.
The search for “purpose” that calls Gemini North Node people is a carryover from past lives of seeking Truth. But in this lifetime, their purpose is to learn the process of connecting with society. For example, if they’re sitting at a table with four people, these folks are great at the beginning of the conversation. But if they’re with the same four people day after day, they become nervous. They think they’ve already said everything they had to say. Indeed they did, but they haven’t heard what others had to say in response—and that’s the next step! These folks need to listen to others and learn how to build on their responses so the relationship can grow. This kind of sharing can generate tremendous energy that leads to new realms of mutual discovery. When the four people at the table have new experiences, they have new insights to share with one another.
Gemini North Node people have spent so many lifetimes “trapped” in religious organizations concentrating on Truth, that in this incarnation they resist limiting themselves to only one thing. They are starved for worldly adventure: to taste life; to experience different kinds of relationships, different occupations, and different places. They are hungry for the benefits of living in the world.
Yet they can be envious of people who settle down to just one job, marriage, or lifestyle. They wonder: “Wow! What would it be like to just completely put myself into one life choice?” But their subconscious knows that when they were dedicated to one thing life got pretty boring, and they can’t do it! In this lifetime, they need to have plenty of options to keep their lives interesting and to keep the energy moving.
The potential drawback of always seeing life as an adventure is that it can give them a superficial experience of the people they encounter. They tend to miss out on the others’ depth—their history and character, how they arrived at where they are now—they just share an adventure with them and then move on. But only when they take the time to find out about other people will they experience the connectedness and peace of mind they are seeking. Thus, it is to their advantage to slow down and be patient with those around them—taking the time to ask the other person questions and really connect.
These folks love to be spontaneous—it makes them feel light and happy! Spontaneity works for them sometimes, but it can also be a hindrance in more intimate relationships. For instance, they have a tendency to try and get together with others at the last minute, and often the people they want to see are not available. It would be to their benefit to recognize that a lot of people live with more planning; if they really want to get together with someone, they need to let that person know in advance. Often they figure if that person can’t get together with them, it wasn’t “meant to be.”
These folks prefer spontaneity over planning because they don’t know in advance if they’re really going to want to be with a certain person. They prefer to be free to go in any direction—wherever the energy is and wherever their sense of adventure takes them. But they are learning that there are times when their love of spontaneity doesn’t work for them, such as in business matters or when dealing with people who don’t choose to play on a spontaneous wavelength.
Gemini North Node people are somewhat restless. But from past life training, they still have the ability to focus 100 percent on whatever occupation they are in—even if it won’t be long term. For them, this is healthy. They feel they can’t afford to spend this whole lifetime on any one thing, because it’s through a variety of experiences that they are learning how to live in the world.
However, sometimes they get “stuck” in a profession. They may be successful and make a good living, and on one level they’re satisfied. Yet they know the best time to make a change is when they’re feeling really good about themselves and when everything is going well. Since this is a lifetime of learning and growing, and of gathering and dispersing information, they think that if they don’t voluntarily make a change when it’s time, life will assist them in making changes. Yet these folks don’t lack boldness. They usually have the self-confidence, optimism, and trust in life to take the gamble and make the change themselves.
Often the changes Gemini North Node people make are based on intuitive knowing. They have a sense of the next adventure that they need to experience. Although their intuition guides them, they also need to consider the logical route to follow in making these changes, including others’ input. Otherwise their journey can be a lot more difficult than necessary. This is not a “do it yourself” lifetime for them—they need input from people who have had more experience operating in society to help them reach their goals.
These folks must be wary not to get “bogged down” somewhere because of their tendency to be more thorough than the situation requires. They are learning to be content with a “temporary fix” rather than the permanent solutions they sought in past lives. In society, everything is continually changing. The idea is to keep life moving in a positive direction by operating in a helpful way with other people. If there is no motion in their life, they need to lighten up and solve their problems in logical ways that may be suggested by those around them. That will bring back the energy!
Solitude used to bring Gemini North Node people comfort in past lives, but they know that this is incorrect for them now. That’s why they’re coming back to society: to bring that internal harmony they found by themselves into their interactions with others. They’re learning how to maintain that harmony while being in relationships with others, to extend the harmony outside of themselves.
But they are so introverted socially that this is difficult, and they’re trying to evolve just through their internal computer. In other words, they aren’t asking questions of others; instead, they’re trying to formulate some kind of continuity through the thread of connectedness that, in past lives, they firmly established within themselves—the thread of inner peace and harmony.
Now they have re-entered society, and they are trying to maintain that inner peace while interconnecting with others. This is why temporary, superficial relationships can sometimes be good for these folks. By only going to a certain depth, they can more easily maintain their own sense of harmony when they are with another person. Once they learn how to do it on a superficial level with many different people, they can learn how to get more deeply involved and still maintain the energy and harmony.
Gemini North Node people feel they have so much information to give to others that all the messages to be delivered seem like a burden. Yet their lives are not operating at the same speed as their past lives when they were traveling alone. They need to slow themselves down. After all, this is a people lifetime.
If these folks try to take shortcuts, they will end up taking the long way around because they will have to go back and repeat things. They should keep in mind that right where they are is where they’re supposed to be, and the person right in front of them might be the one who needs to hear their message. This can greatly relieve the pressure they feel; but if they’re going too fast in order to get to the next person, they won’t effectively deliver the first message, and the weight of it will still be with them.
Another problem is that Gemini North Node people feel a responsibility not only to deliver the message but also to see that the other person understands it. In a way, this is correct. They are Teachers in this lifetime, and their job is to deliver the message in a way that others can understand. But if impatience takes hold of them, they inadvertently try to force others to receive the message rather than slowing to present it in the other person’s own “language.” They need to focus on the fact that twelve messages effectively delivered to a dozen people is worth hundreds of messages that are not understood.
RESPECT FOR WORDS
More than any other nodal group, Gemini North Node people have a tendency to stutter in their youth. This is because their minds are traveling so fast and they’ve had so many lifetimes of silence and meditation that they’re not used to talking. Their minds are going ten times faster than their vocal apparatus. They’re enthusiastic to communicate because they haven’t been in society for so long and they’re happy to be part of it again, yet they’re fearful because they don’t know how to relate. All that can contribute to a tendency to stutter. Once again, slowing down to meet another person’s “wavelength” facilitates transmitting a lot of information in a short time with fewer words.
Stuttering can have a useful purpose in other ways. It forces these folks to find alternative words in case their first choice doesn’t come out right. This makes them more aware of slowing down and accurately saying what they mean: It teaches them to respect words and the art of using them to pinpoint exactly what they mean. By forcing themselves to use exact words to convey their meaning, these folks are channeling their highly creative mental energy constructively in their relationships with others.
They have so much mental energy that if they don’t have respect for the power of words, the result is frustration. It’s very important for them not to blurt things out; taking the time to find the correct words channels their energy and gives them the focus they need. They know exactly what they want to say, but it can be difficult to make themselves understood. These folks see others communicating clearly, and they don’t know why they have so much trouble. In fact, they enjoy movies with interesting, involved dialogue, since they learn from watching what people say and how they say it.
The most important thing for these folks to remember is to “slow down.” They need to be sure that what they say is being understood by all concerned, point by point, rather than blurting out a series of ideas before the first one has been accepted. For example, if they say: “I have not had happy experiences in foreign travel,” they should pause and see how those around them respond. If others invalidate their statement by pointing out how much fun the Gemini North Node should have had in Tahiti, they need to stop and clarify what they said originally.
Perhaps they could say: “I’m not saying that foreign travel is unpleasant for everyone, but it’s not where I, personally, have the most fun.” No one can invalidate another’s personal experience, as long as they make it clear that they are not saying it is the truth for everyone. After taking the time to clarify the first point, they may realize that they can learn from others’ different experiences. They may ask: “What have your experiences of foreign travel been like?” These folks are better off when they try to see how others view life in order to expand their own perceptions.
Gemini North Node people are learning to think before they speak. They are also learning how important it is to wait for the proper timing to make their point. Even if Gemini North Node offers the other person the perfect answer to a problem, it won’t do any good if that person is not ready to receive it. And if the other person is not receptive, these folks need to let it go until the next opening presents itself. They should focus on rapport and goodwill, which they can offer only if they have no personal investment in the communication. When they are invested in the other person accepting and acknowledging what they have to say, that investment translates into an intensity that defeats them and may seem like preaching or combativeness to the other person. These folks are caring people who want to help, but sometimes their greatest caring shows in their willingness to support the other person—even in moments when that person does not seem to understand them.
NEED FOR FREEDOM
Gemini North Node people feel a tremendous need for freedom in this incarnation. If this drive is prompting them to meet new people, it is healthy for them and will result in an increase in their vitality. However, if the urge for freedom is based on listening to their “freedom tapes” or running away from the challenge of connecting with others, the result will be restlessness and loneliness.
FEAR OF CONNECTING
When others “push their buttons” and upset these folks, their reaction is to turn off completely and retreat to their “mountaintop.” They feel it makes them weak to connect with people, and subconsciously they fear being deeply understood by another person. Also, it’s frustrating for them to go through the work of sharing their truths. Although truth comes all too easily to them, they have great difficulty translating it for others in a way that can be understood and appreciated.
Since Gemini North Node people are learning how to listen to others, asking questions is a good habit for them. Being a good listener is all about asking questions and being interested in the other person’s life; when these folks are engaged in this process, they are happy and peaceful. They have a fear of deeply, genuinely connecting with others; but when they do it, the feelings of acceptance and completion are deeply satisfying. They can reconnect with the tranquility they worked so hard to attain in past lives.
For success in close relationships, they need to start by admitting they have been in a “cocoon.” They need to rise above fear and declare their intention: that they want to come out of the cocoon to connect with the other person—not only on the level of hopes and dreams, but also fears and doubts. Then when they reveal themselves in conversation, they can truly be honest. They will not just share their buoyant, optimistic outlook about the way things should be—they will share how life really is for them on a day-to-day basis and talk about their own challenges. Being receptive to others can really help them achieve victories in their daily lives that they could never have accomplished alone.
Most of these folks want to “settle down” in a permanent, committed marriage relationship, but one part of them simultaneously fears this kind of permanence. They want to be free to grow and change, move around, and do different things. If they could connect with another person who has the same temperament, they might have the best of both worlds. But if they enter a relationship that limits their freedom, it generally doesn’t work out.
Gemini North Node people do not relate easily to the word “commitment” in their relationships. What they are committed to is the thread of Truth and harmony within themselves. They do not want their philosophy tampered with, and they are not sure how to become fully committed to another person without merging their beliefs. They feel their truths are what make them who they are. However, they can live with a person of dissimilar beliefs as long as both people are open and accepting of each other’s philosophies.
These folks are also reluctant to do anything that limits their interactions. They are learning how to relate and how to reintegrate themselves into society, and they need to experience a lot of different people in order to expand their awareness of how to do this. They want to bring the awareness of Truth and that feeling of inner harmony into society, and to expand that thread of continuity to include others. As they “practice” with different people in different situations, they gain more confidence in their ability to maintain their own inner happiness while interacting with others. Then they can allow people to get closer, because they know they’ll be able to maintain their harmony.
Thus, for Gemini North Node people, entering a committed relationship can take longer because they lose their inner sense of peace if they go too deep, too quickly. Marriage or a commitment that would restrict them from interacting with others is actually counterproductive to their larger goals. They need a partner who supports their need to move through society. They need a lot of “in the field” experience to fully manifest their potential. This does not mean that monogamy is counterproductive for them—it is the need to interact mentally with a variety of different people that must not be limited.
ACTING ON ASSUMPTIONS
Of all the “tricksters” in their subconscious, the one that most often sabotages relationships for Gemini North Node people is the tendency to assume. When they act without gathering facts or sharing information with others, they set themselves up for disappointment. When in doubt, they need to talk to the other person and listen without judgment. When they assume others know that “all is well,” they often get into trouble. When they check things out on a daily basis—finding out how the other person is and giving information about how they are—they will be much happier. To experience successful relationships, they must go out of their way to keep the lines of communication open.
LACK OF COMMUNICATION
When these folks are in a relationship, they tend to assume that others know what they are feeling and experience what they are experiencing. For example, I had a client who spent an absolutely beautiful, perfect night with a man. He never contacted her afterwards, and she assumed that he had experienced something different than she did. But the fact is, she doesn’t know! There could have been a hundred reasons why he didn’t call her: He may have lost her phone number; he may have been in another relationship that he hadn’t completed; something may have come up that he had to take care of first and then he felt embarrassed to call after so long; or her conclusion may have been correct. But her best bet would have been to pick up the phone, ask him how his life was going, share with him how much she enjoyed the evening, and find out why he didn’t call her. These folks need to apply some of their faith in positive outcomes and take charge of creating positive results in their own lives.
When they’re in a relationship, Gemini North Node people often don’t call the other person for extended periods of time. If they’re going through anything negative or are unsure of something in their life, they don’t want to get in touch because they don’t want to have to say: “Actually, my boyfriend just left me,” or “They took my credit cards away.” They want to wait until they’ve “got it together” so they can share the positive—they don’t want to communicate when they’re not at their best.
Naturally, a lot of people interpret this lack of communication as a lack of interest. These folks have lost in many a romantic relationship due to lack of communication, when the other person assumes they aren’t interested and gets involved with someone else. If they are truly interested in maintaining a relationship, they cannot assume the other person knows that “all is well.” They need to pick up the phone or send a card on a regular basis to maintain the connection. If they are going through a period of doubt or uncertainty, they could communicate that: “Well, I hesitated to call you because I’m not ready to see you right now. I need to complete some things in my life, but I wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you and I wanted to see how you’re doing.”
If there’s a misunderstanding, these folks need to take responsibility for straightening it out. They might also find it helpful to alert others to potential problems: “Sometimes I don’t heat what people say because my mind jumps ahead. If you think I haven’t understood you, please let me know because I want to communicate clearly with you.” Gemini North Node people can be thinking something and assume it has been understood by other people. It’s a shock to these folks to find out that the way they interpret the world is not the way everyone else interprets it. It’s essential for them to double-check with others and be conscious of verbalizing what is on their minds. If they tactfully make others aware of their various thoughts and ideas, they will find their relationships shifting in new and positive ways.
When Gemini North Node people take the time to accurately share their point of view about their own personal experiences, others are deeply moved. As a result, Gemini North Node people experience the joy of acceptance and empathy. When they share things without having to be “right” or prove a point, the results will be heartfelt. To reach others on a soul level, they must speak the truth about what they are experiencing.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position whose girlfriend made some unexpected charges against one of his credit cards at a clothing store. He confronted her, and even though he already knew it involved clothes, he wanted her to confess what she had spent the money on. When she said “household items,” he became so obsessed with making her tell him the truth that she ended the relationship. These folks hate lies, and they tend to respond with self-righteous indignation when they think they have been lied to. However, in this case the man’s response was also not the truth. He should have said: “There’s something I’d like to discuss that’s very important to me. I found some unexpected charges on my credit card, so I checked to see if there had been a mistake. There were three credit slips for clothing with your signature on them. You know I’ve always been generous—I want you to have nice clothes—but I feel hurt and betrayed because you didn’t ask before using my credit card.”
Then, from that honesty, the next level of truth could have emerged. By putting forth the facts and his honest feelings, he would have opened himself to see her character more accurately. Either she would have changed to be in greater ethical alignment with him, or he would have seen that she was an inappropriate partner for an intimate relationship. These folks have to give others a chance to grow ethically. They can open space for this only by being willing to act with integrity themselves—honestly revealing their feelings instead of trying to force the other person to be truthful.
Gemini North Node people have a strong resistance to other people’s “truth”—especially the people they deal with on a daily basis. This can be one of the reasons why people feel they have to lie to them—these folks may not really want to hear what is going on with the other person. But their disinclination to listen can result in painful misunderstandings with those they care about most.
Even though they say they want “the truth,” they become upset when others tell them. But if they don’t really want to listen to the truth, it will have the effect of encouraging people to lie to them. No one wants to be “made wrong,” and these folks can be so self-righteous about who is right and who is not that others don’t want to be around them.
Gemini North Node people are learning to value happy rapport with others above the compulsive pursuit of philosophical Truth. This also requires that they suspend judgment. When these folks judge another person, they are not taking into account the other person’s code of ethics. To understand this person better, these folks need to ask questions: “What did you study in school? What was your first job?” These folks have a tendency to see things so much in the present that they assume people’s lives have always been the same—yet it’s fascinating to them when others share what brought them to their present circumstances.
If they are seeking “truth”—or factual accuracy—from another person, they should always be very clear with themselves first about their own motive. Is it to learn about the other person and help that person reveal himself or herself more clearly? Or is their motive to “be right”? If their underlying motive is to listen, they will win; if their motive is to be right, they will lose.
Gemini North Node people must grant others equality if they want them to communicate honestly. And honesty evolves—it doesn’t necessarily happen in the first few encounters. As these folks allow people the space to become more honest with themselves, the honesty they are seeking will emerge. In personal relationships, they need to communicate how important honesty is to them in a constructive way that does not alienate the other person. For example, they could begin in subtle but clear ways: “We have more fun when we are honest with each other than we do when we are trying to deceive each other. Honesty brings us closer together and helps us accept each other.”
If these folks force themselves to give someone a yes or no answer when actually there’s a conflict going on in their own minds, whatever they say will be a lie because the truth is that they haven’t found the answer yet. So the “answer”—and the correct thing to communicate to the other person—is that they can see two alternatives and don’t know which one to choose. Once the other person understands this, the Gemini North Node person can experiment with one path and keep the option to choose the other if it doesn’t work out.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position who was offered the choice of working in an office or at home. She wanted the peace and solitude of working at home but was afraid that if she didn’t go to the office her level of productivity might drop. She needed to tell her boss exactly what she told me: “I would like to work at home, and keeping my productivity level high is very important to me. So I would like to experiment with working at home, and if my productivity level drops, I would like to come back to the office.”
In this incarnation, it’s perfectly fine for Gemini North Node people to change their minds. They were not allowed to do this in past lives, so they have a sense that they are supposed to say: “This is the way it is.” But now they are learning to see more options, and as they get more information they will naturally alter their course to take advantage of the new input.
So when these folks express their decision (or their opinion at the moment) they should try not to present their views too rigidly, so that they have the option of changing their minds. Instead of saying: “This is incorrect and it’s always going to be incorrect,” it’s better if they say: “This is incorrect. I might change my mind, but this is the way it appears to me now.” Their views may change, so it’s okay for these folks not to have a final answer.
Gemini North Node people have the karma of connecting with a variety of different people: nerds, jocks, high school dropouts, college graduates. The people they get involved with are a mixed bag. Sometimes they wonder who their “type” is because they relate on a surface level with all these various people! When they gain a greater sense of their spiritual identity and figure out how to share messages with people, being with so many different kinds of people begins to make sense to them. When their “truth” is bounced off so many different surfaces, they can see it in many different ways. This helps them know when a concept is really “right,” and they gain joy from seeing that concept work through the varied perceptions of others.
For example, they may ask themselves: “What is ‘Poor’?” Then they watch people who are financially poor and discover that in some cases, being poor gives a person better values than if they were rich. Their exciting discoveries stem from their openness to compare their ideas with what is actually going on in the environment. The harmony they seek comes from integrating the other person’s views with their own truth. Their challenge is to acknowledge an energy that encompasses variety.
When Gemini North Node people begin experiencing their sexuality, their tendency is to seek a variety of people to interact with. They have been deprived of the warmth of human relationships for so many incarnations that they can be like a kid in a candy store: They want to try it all! Actually, in their case and within reasonable limits, this is not a mistake—especially during their early years. They are learning how to relate with others while maintaining and sharing that thread of Truth within themselves. Variety can help them learn to share it without losing it.
These folks have a well-developed sense of integrity from past lives and would never say anything to mislead another person. They don’t say “I love you and I’ll stay with you forever” with the motive of getting the other person under the covers. However, due to guilt from their religious training in past lives, they are plagued by a voice that says: “I know this is wrong—I should only be with one person.” There may come a time when that path is correct for them, but that decision needs to be based on maintaining their truth while they are with the other person without allowing themselves to slip into isolating self-righteousness. When dating a variety of people, they are charming and maintain their “good behavior” to keep the connection progressing. When they can retain that same “good behavior” while being with only one person, then they are really on track.
While they are still in the process of dating a variety of people, their motive needs to be clear. If they are only trying to ease their loneliness through sex, the result will be temporary satisfaction that night, but an exaggeration of the empty feeling the next day. To avoid that destructive cycle, they need to keep expanding their mental connection with the other person as a foundation for physical intimacy. They should establish an emotional connection prior to a physical relationship. Then the physical interaction will be a joyful expression of that truth, and they won’t feel empty or guilty.
Gemini North Node people can be obsessive in their attachments to others, particularly in romantic/sexual relationships. If they become overly committed to one idea or one person, they should deflect their obsession in order to regain a peaceful, constructive state of mind. If they are obsessed with an idea, they need to consider another point of view to balance their thinking. If they are becoming obsessive about another person, they need to find a platonic friend to spend time with as a balance for the more intense relationship. Then they can create success in the primary relationship. Realizing they have options always works for them.
Conversely, these folks can also go to the extreme of nonattachment. In this lifetime, they tend to want to be the Philosopher King again—but when they get to the top of the mountain, who else is going to be there? One of their most dangerous obsessions is the tendency to internalize their thoughts, which causes their relationships to become secondary. They can fail to even acknowledge other people because they are too intensely focused on their own thought process. “My thoughts are so justified, so meaningful.” They may totally disregard other people’s input, and that’s where they can really be hurt. They won’t find the variety they need if they aren’t open to the viewpoints of others.
Gemini North Node people need to learn to give greater weight to human relationships; they need to spend more time and energy getting involved with people, rather than focusing on goals. The people may in fact end up being the goal, if they can just stop overthinking.
These folks are great with first meetings: the introductory small talk, the charm, the superficial connection. But they are like a professional greeter in a restaurant—they know how to make the other person feel welcome, say the first few lines that everyone will relate to, make the first gestures and smiles; but after that, they’re lost. In a romantic situation they often get nervous and either go off by themselves or try to move things to the physical level right away. These folks are very comfortable with their bodies, so once they start connecting physically they feel at ease again. Unfortunately, if a mental affinity and mutual understanding haven’t been established first, their sexual connections are often brief and only temporarily satisfying; they do not lead to deep and rewarding relationships.
These folks have had a lot of past lifetimes of high adventure, as well. When they were headed toward some mountaintop to look for Truth, an attractive person would come across their path and they would have a sexual adventure with them. But these folks weren’t interested in settling down—they were in pursuit of Truth. To develop nurturing human bonds or take romantic relationships deeper would have been contrary to their goals. In this lifetime, such behavior leads to isolation, but these folks continue to run from deep connections with others. They want to be close to others, but they don’t know how to do it. And this awkwardness can be very frustrating for them, especially in romantic situations.
However, Gemini North Node people need to know that they have a tremendous gift for making connections with people once they get the idea. The key is to become genuinely interested in—and curious about—the other person. How do they think? What is important to them? What are their interests? What message does the other person have for them, and what message do they have for the other person?
Gemini North Node people have a tendency to be too direct, and this gets them into trouble. They need to remember to look more deeply at what they really want to convey, and then communicate in a responsible, sensitive way.
For example, I had a client who had been married for twenty-six years to a Gemini North Node husband. One day he came home and said—with no prior warning—“I’ve met my soul mate and I want a divorce.” He had met this woman only two weeks earlier! The message totally shocked his wife. It took them more than a year of intense confrontation and soul searching to find out what the problems were that led to his drastic pronouncement. In fact, the encounter turned out to be a diversion—what this man really wanted was to revitalize his relationship with his wife. They had a good marriage based on mutually strong feelings of love, and as of this writing they are still together. He got what he wanted: His relationship with his wife was transformed. However, his wife has never recovered emotionally, and she is unable to completely forgive him for what he put her through.
Gemini North Node people are learning that when they speak without considering the effects, they can be unnecessarily hurtful to others. This is especially the case when what they say isn’t really the underlying truth, but simply an attempt to hurt the other person or get attention. They must clarify in their own minds what they’re feeling and then decide on the best way to say it. Is their motive to rekindle the relationship, or to make the other person feel guilty? Often, when these folks speak with harsh directness they are not really communicating how they feel. They need to focus on resolving problems in a more responsible way.
In the above example, rather than blurting out a conclusion he hadn’t thought through in advance, the husband could have talked with his wife and said: “Look, a woman I am attracted to has come across my path. I haven’t become involved with her yet, but I’m considering it because I’m so unhappy in our marriage.” Telling the truth in a factual, logical way would have gotten him what he wanted—a revitalization of his marriage—without devastating his wife. They could have worked together to resolve the underlying problems in their relationship. And although they did end up staying together, the shock and anxiety were so great that the relationship was never completely healed.
Gemini North Node people need to put themselves in the other person’s place and see what approach would make the other person feel comfortable. Using words with respect helps these folks connect in positive ways with other people; it is a key part of maintaining happy relationships.
DELIVERING AND RECEIVING MESSAGES
Gemini North Node people are learning how to deliver the messages that they are meant to pass on, and how to hear the messages they need to receive. To do this most effectively, they must discriminate between the different functions of the mind and emphasize that aspect which promotes a factual, logical orientation.
INFORMATION VERSUS INTUITION
These folks have spent many past lives developing their philosophies and relying on their intuition. In their private, solitary search for Truth, intuitive knowing was their best guide. However, now that they are back in society, factual information will help them connect in a way that restores their inner peace. If they make decisions based solely on intuition, it almost always results in isolation from others. If they feel uncertain or upset about a situation, they need to seek more information. It’s easy for these folks to misunderstand, and they are quick to feel rejection when none was intended.
However, if they have a strong intuitive feeling about something they should not just push it aside. Their best bet is to take the time to ask questions that will ease their mind: “I heard what you said, but for some reason I have an uneasy feeling about this. I want to get some more information so I’m sure what I’m getting into.” These folks always benefit from gathering the information that gives them the reassuring, warm feeling of “truth” inside.
LOGIC VERSUS SPONTANEITY
In this incarnation, making decisions based on spontaneous impulses does not work for Gemini North Node people. If they have a spontaneous urge to get on a plane and go to Peru, they need to stop and consider the idea from a logical base. Decisions made from a logical base, rather than from trust or high hopes, will work out best for them in the long run. In this lifetime, Gemini North Node people cannot take shortcuts without taking all the facts into account.
These folks are also learning the value of applying logic to daily situations. For example, if one of their truths is a belief in the value of friendship, they need to hold their goal in mind—“creating friendship”—and then logically observe what kinds of behavior create friendship. How does a friendship develop out of a casual acquaintance? What common denominators exist in successful friendships? Logic will tell them what behaviors work best to create the friendships they seek. Above all, logic is soothing for them. It provides them with a sequential process through which things can work out, and this is calming for them. When they use logic, they feel connected and see how they can maneuver effectively through society. In new situations, Gemini North Node people can deal with their anxiety by logically strategizing how to proceed, because planning gives them the feeling of continuity that they need.
Gemini North Node people are here to circulate the energy of Truth through society. When they are unable to spark another person to see a higher truth, it’s often because they’re not listening to what that person is really saying. They aren’t responding appropriately. When they accurately perceive where the other person is coming from in the conversation, then they can match their words and timing to connect with the other person on his or her level to translate their truth so the other person can hear it. When they respond appropriately, the feeling of disjointedness will evaporate. This requires patience on their part. It also requires them to be sufficiently excited about the possibilities in the potential connection to invest the time and energy.
But sometimes these folks are judgmental about who is “worthy” of their patience. The irony is that they have the capacity to create true communication with almost everyone they meet! They are accustomed to looking for people who are also seeking Truth, but in this lifetime they cannot speak exclusively with other philosophers. They need to listen to everyday people: the mail carrier or the clerk at the grocery store. There is an endless variety of people they can connect with and they must find those for whom they have messages.
But they have to trust the universe to bring the right people to them. Whenever there’s a miscommunication, that’s the person with whom they need to have patience. Miscommunication is a red flag for these folks, signaling them to slow down and pay attention to whoever is right in front of them.
The main purpose for Gemini North Node in this lifetime is teaching. When others are not aware of the importance of Truth on a daily basis, it gives these folks an opportunity to gently teach what they have learned. The operative word here is “gently” … or “tactfully,” “lovingly,” “diplomatically,” “humorously,” or “sociably.” They need to share their message in a way that does not cast the others as “wrong.” Then the others will not feel defensive and will be able to successfully receive the message.
Gemini North Node people are naturally helpful; when they see someone in trouble, they are among the first to offer assistance. However, their tone of voice and their delivery can sound like “preaching” when they don’t realize that the certainty behind their ideas has a self-righteous quality. They truly want to give the other person the answer to the problem at hand. But they are learning that even if they do have the solution, the other person won’t be able to hear it if their delivery is offensive. Just like trying to give medicine to a child, coating it with sugar makes it easier on everyone. These people need to learn tact: how to package their ideas in a brief, informative way that others are willing to swallow.
Gemini North Node people are reluctant to seek advice, because they fear it will show they are unsure and they think they already know what the other person will say. Actually, the other person may tell them something totally different from what they expect, and it may be the very thing they need to resolve their quandary! Other people can indeed help these folks to see things from different angles and give them an opening for new insights.
They are always surprised to discover that others are aware of what’s going on with them even though they haven’t divulged the fact that they are having a problem. They think if they show an optimistic face, others will accept that everything is fine. In truth, others are often quite sensitive to these people’s moods and may have just the piece of information that will be helpful.
EXPANSION AND INTEGRATION
Formal education is good for Gemini North Node people, and they enjoy acquiring new knowledge and new information. This kind of broad learning helps them to see the “big picture” and puts them in touch with the way society thinks. It offers them structure and exposes them to various points of view, which keeps them from remaining stuck in their own “truth.” Reading also enables them to practice seeing life from the perspective of someone else’s mindset. These folks are like empty hard disks on a computer: They are hungry for information. They like their reading to cover many different subjects; otherwise they might get bored with it. As well as expanding their knowledge, reading gives them a variety of subjects to talk about with others, which makes them more confident in their ability to relate.
It’s healthy for these folks to put themselves in situations where they are surrounded by different people, because each one teaches them something new about themselves. They often see things in a moralistic or spiritual way, so they ate willing to take lessons from others to heart. New situations force them to question who they are and what they believe in. So they have to start meeting people, asking questions, reading: in other words, doing everything they can to learn about each new situation. It’s another chance for them to see the world from other people’s points of view.
If Gemini North Node people try to settle down and avoid personal growth, something will happen externally to propel them toward a new challenge. Since “the writing is on the wall” in this respect, it’s wiser for them to choose to go where their intuition is pointing and willingly move through life. But these folks can be stubborn about learning the lessons they are scheduled to master. They need to be aware of this tendency and be consciously open to changing—so as to avoid the unnecessary mental or physical pain of getting a “wake-up call.” When they choose change, the new situations motivate them and put them back into the flow of life.
One of the best ways Gemini North Node people can experience the integration they’re seeking is through the process of writing—a journal, books, articles, etc.—on a regular basis. The physical process of taking pen in hand and writing down what they are thinking grounds them in a confident, stable way. Writing calms their internal restlessness, releasing the tension and anxiety in a form that brings them peace.
These folks are extremely talented writers, although they may not recognize this until much later when they look back over what they have written. They have an ability to clarify thoughts on paper in a simple way that actually communicates far beyond the words. Also, when they begin to write about their problems or experiences, it focuses their subconscious and the answer they were looking for comes through them and onto the page!
Writing is a tremendous release for them. If they are upset with someone, or feel misunderstood, one of the best therapies is to write the other person a letter. Even if they never send it, simply writing it makes them feel much better. They can even write: “It’s been a tough day—I feel so stressed out.” The simple act of writing down whatever they are noticing in that moment will discharge some of that intense mental energy. In this way they release heavy mental stress and open themselves to solutions that bring them peace.
For these folks, writing can even be a good profession. There’s so much flexibility and room for growth that it can be the “one thing” they are looking for. They needn’t rely on a corporation or a structure; they can be anywhere and be themselves and do their life’s work—and that appeals to them.
Gemini North Node people are so used to silence that in large groups they may be shy about sharing their message—yet they can make the very best of orators. After they have listened to the ideas of the other group members, they may notice a discrepancy between what is being stated and what is actually going on. In this case, it is their job to share the truth of their factual experience. They may feel such energy and passion, that they aren’t sure they’ve said the right thing. But if they are compelled to say something to put things into alignment, they should go ahead and share it.
The key for successfully doing this is to first acknowledge that they have heard and understood what the other person said, and then respond positively about it to validate the other person (for example, “You spoke eloquently, with heartfelt sincerity, with courage,” etc.). It can also help if these folks use the other person’s own words to form a connection with them. As long as they first acknowledge what the other person has said, the other person will be able to acknowledge what they say.
In this incarnation, Gemini North Node people are here to teach. They are here to bring the Truths, principles, and practical application of ethics into society. They understand universal law and want to help others learn to apply it in practical ways in daily situations.
They are learning that Truth lies behind the words, and that they must listen carefully to others’ words in order to understand the questions that others are asking. If they let go of their ideas of Truth and really listen, they will automatically tune in to the other person’s belief system and spontaneously say—through a sincere question or a new piece of information—those words that will shift the perspective for both of them to a fresh recognition of Truth.
When Gemini North Node people view themselves as teachers, rather than as philosophers, their entire experience of sharing Truth shifts and becomes a total joy for them. As teachers, they don’t expect others to know what they know, which gives them more patience in relaying their messages. When they assist another person in discovering his or her own truth, they experience harmony and share the warm feeling that comes when Truth is present.
As teachers, these folks have to divorce themselves from prejudicial viewpoints and allow the other person to think freely, without trying to guide the other to a conclusion that’s identical with their own. It’s the difference between a true question and a rhetorical question. A true question prompts the other person to answer in harmony with his or her own inner truth, whereas a rhetorical question maneuvers the other person into reaching certain pre-established conclusions. Rhetorical questions do not work for these people; true questions and logic are gifts that Gemini North Node people bring to help others find a higher level of perception. When they act as true teachers, these folks behave in a way that creates a win/win situation for everyone.
FITTING INTO SOCIETY
Gemini North Node people are learning to value human relations and the importance of maintaining goodwill in their daily interactions with others. They have a tendency to be so aware of their own Truth and their own aims that they are likely to forget the importance of treating others gently.
Drawing on their many lifetimes of spiritual truth, these folks can open the doors to honest, self-revealing communication. When they do, a feeling of timelessness blesses and enlightens everyone involved. The atmosphere is charged with what feels like a soul-to-soul communication. Afterwards there is a feeling of: “Let’s celebrate tonight … let’s cry and laugh over the past … let’s plan and dream about the future … let’s just be right now and share together.” Gemini North Node people have the gift of opening an entirely new level of communication when they are willing to reveal their intimate selves—without having to be “right” or be the hero.
Questions are an invaluable tool for these people. It can be better for them to ask a question than to come up with the answer. If they’re not able to develop rapport with someone, they should ask the other person a question (not a rhetorical question, but a true question), honestly seeking to understand what the other person is thinking. The other person will often stumble into his or her own truth in the process of answering the question, because Gemini North Node people have Truth in their energy field!
As long as their motive is to connect, the right way of communicating—what to say and how to say it—automatically becomes clear to them. Until they get the hang of it, this can be difficult and requires a conscious effort. They must force themselves to listen and to ask questions—and it can be hard for them to control that restlessness inside. Yet for Gemini North Node people, asking questions to gain more information is very important. It helps them feel “in the moment” and involved in the interaction.
The misunderstanding that causes difficulty for these folks is the idea that there are two kinds of talking: regular conversation in which people simply talk about their daily lives, and much deeper connections that can only occur while discussing a subject that is soul searching and significant. The irony is that Gemini North Node people can have real communication—deep and meaningful sharing with another person—without talking about life and death, philosophy, or major decisions. The connection can occur through talking about the simple things of life, but these folks must be engaged and asking questions. When they do engage in this way, they suddenly find that everyone wants to be around them—because it’s such a joy for others to talk with them. In turn, they want to be around lots of different people because they enjoy the variety of experiences they can tap into.
However, the process involves giving up control. Gemini North Node people are very good with small talk, but if they ask a friend: “Why are you going to Chicago?” they don’t know what the other person is going to say. That means they won’t know how to respond. Because the other person is going to give them new information, they’re essentially giving control of the conversation to that person. It feels good to them on one level, but they’re always afraid they’re not going to know what to say next! Yet when they do let go and allow the other person to control the conversation, what they want to say comes naturally, and their real selves come out in a positive way.
When these folks take a chance, release control, ask others questions about their lives, and remain open to connecting—somehow the connection happens. They can call on their natural trust that the universe knows what it’s doing when it moves energy between two people. Ironically, they feel no fear at all when the other person asks them questions—it gives them a chance to share their truth!
Gemini North Node people want to achieve a higher level of interaction with the other person. They want to expand beyond where either could have gone on their own. But only through really communicating with others can new, expanded ideas and resolutions become apparent.
These folks have been isolated for so long on mountaintops that they have forgotten the nuances of how to relate with others. They can be like a bull in a china shop, rushing to accomplish their purpose with a total lack of awareness of the delicate feelings of those around them. They are unaware of social graces and good manners because they are not used to living in society, where people generally get their way in a manner that evokes the support of others. Caring and taking the time to not alienate others is valuable, as isolation would create unnecessary obstacles to meeting one’s needs. These folks are learning: Social graces will empower them to live in society and gain the benefits.
These folks benefit by being aware of others’ reactions and body language. They are often more intent on their message than on the effect of their words. They may say something and then notice that the other person looks shocked. Rather than let it pass, they should check with the other person: “I noticed that you just stepped backward. Did I say something that hurt or offended you?” If the other person says “yes,” the Gemini North Node could say: “Well, my intention was not to hurt you, so I think we’ve had a misunderstanding. What was it you thought I said?” Nearly all the problems they have in relationships can be traced back to careless communication.
In this lifetime, these folks are learning about themselves and about what it means to be human. As they experience themselves in different situations, their understanding of human nature grows. Moreover, all their different life experiences teach them something about themselves. As they understand themselves more deeply and recognize the contradictions that are part of the human experience, they come to accept the different facets of their own nature. This opens the way to understanding and accepting the contradictions within others, and they are welcomed back into the family of humankind.