and North Node in the 5th House
ATTRIBUTES TO DEVELOP
Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents
Willingness to take “center stage”
Following one’s heart’s desires
Strengthening one’s willpower
Relating to the childlike quality in others
Enjoying life—having fun
Looking at life as a game
Developing an “It’s up to me” attitude
TENDENCIES TO LEAVE BEHIND
Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can help make life easier and more enjoyable
Yielding to peer pressure in order to “belong”
Detaching from emotional situations
Waiting for others to prompt one’s own action
“Overlooking” what’s really going on
Waiting for “more” knowledge before taking action
Running away from confrontations
For Leo North Node people, the Achilles’ heel they need to be aware of is the overriding need to feel the acceptance of peers (“If I just cooperate with life and ‘go with the flow,’ my peers will automatically support me and bring me happiness”). But it’s a bottomless pit: Their friends can never give them enough support for them to break out as individuals and take advantage of the exciting opportunities life brings. They need to become their own best friend and encourage themselves to go after those things that will bring them happiness.
The trap they need to avoid is an unending search for knowledge (“If I have enough knowledge, I will feel confident to take creative action”). They will never feel they have enough knowledge to ensure successful creative action, so they continue to “go with the flow,” waiting for happiness to find them. The bottom line is that at some point they must take the risk and start creating their own happiness. The irony is that once they take action and begin creating happiness, the knowledge they need to succeed will come to them effortlessly.
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
What Leo North Node people really want is to receive love. Their need to experience the loving energy of others is nearly insatiable. To successfully bring this energy into their lives, they need to first give love by cheering people up—they know how to use the limelight to make others happy. By exercising their creativity to contribute to the happiness of others, they create an “audience,” or a peer group that will support them, accept them, and love them. The best barometer of being “on track” for Leo North Node people is the applause and approval of others. In the process of giving happiness—as long as they stay in alignment with their own humanitarian ideals—they gain the reward of knowing they are an important participant in the stream of life.
These people belong in professions that reward individual creative effort. Entertaining (singing, acting, etc.), entrepreneurship, or some other way of being at center stage releases their tremendous creative energy in constructive ways that bring joy to all. Other good options include activities dealing with children, speculation, games, and sports.
Leo North Node people also have the gift of objectivity—they can accurately see what the “game” is. When this skill is used as a backdrop for achieving goals that are fun for them, their ability to see things objectively becomes an asset. However, if they involve themselves in professions that have objectivity itself as a goal (scientist, inventor, engineer, X-ray technician, etc.), their lives may become devoid of vitality and joy. They are better off using this natural talent in intensely creative projects.
“The only person who can create my happiness is me.”
“If I’m having fun, I’m on track.”
“When I follow the impulses of the child within, I win.”
“I win when I actively create the results I want.”
“When I relate to the child in others, everybody wins.”
“When I bring joy to others, I feel included.”
Leo North Node people have spent many lifetimes living on the sidelines watching others interact. They were the scientists, the observers, those who sacrificed personal identity to promote humanitarian causes and ideals. They are accustomed to linking their creative energy to the dreams and aspirations of others, without taking into account their own needs and desires.
Thus, in past lives they lost touch with the vital energy of their inner child. In this life they have again subconsciously chosen environments that negate their inner child, in order to work through this issue and regain the connection with their vital energy. They may be born into a violent household where objective observation of a parent’s behavior is a matter of survival. Or they may be born into an alcoholic household in which the emotional responses of one or both parents are unpredictable, and since they are not able to trust their caretakers, the only safe route is to suppress their feelings. Or perhaps the loss of a parent at an early age gave them an added sense of responsibility, and they felt it wasn’t okay for them to “just be a kid.”
These folks have had so many past lives of being objective and watching from a scientific point of view that in this lifetime they have a real fear of getting involved. They’re afraid of losing their objectivity; subconsciously they feel it’s the only thing that has kept them safe in the past. But this lifetime is about becoming involved and learning how to play! They’ve taken the stuffy, scientific approach for too many incarnations—they have not been having fun on this planet—so this time they need to go in the direction of enjoying themselves. When they are around children, their own inner child is reflected back to them. When they see children playing and simply being themselves, it inspires these natives to play and become involved in life. And this is their challenge—to step back into the center of life’s vitality.
Owing to their past-life scientific orientation, Leo North Node people enter into this incarnation with a “laboratory objectivity”—continually observing without seeking to change, or in any way interfere with, the data. This allows them to be very clear and accurate about what is going on. However, if they become overly identified with the role of “Important Observer” it can become an ego trip, where they stand back and pass judgment on other people and feel superior.
They may take the approach: “We’re going to cut through all the nonsense and tell it like it is!” and then, when they see the look on the other person’s face, they feel badly. But their minds say: “Well, I said it! I’ll stand by it!” and they settle into the rigidity of their position. However, in this lifetime these folks have the challenge of pointing out to others what is going on in positive ways that make them laugh and/or help them change their perspective and lighten their burdens. This time Leo North Node people need to not only see what’s going on but actively participate in transforming “what is” into something positive for all concerned, including themselves. In this incarnation, their life purpose is to learn how to get what they want, not through detachment but through intense involvement.
OBSERVATION VERSUS ACTION
Leo North Node people sometimes feel as if they are being swept up in other people’s dramas and they themselves are just sitting back—powerless—even though they can clearly see the writing on the wall. They think that other people can adjust their course of action, “sail their boat into the wind,” change direction, and win from prevailing conditions. But Leo North Node people often feel as if they watch the wind change and are aware of the waves, but can’t seem to hook up with the energy and take advantage of the situation.
These folks get “stuck” on one side of the creative pendulum. To successfully manifest a dream, the process involves both observation and action. Sometimes it’s necessary to pull hard on the ropes to physically maneuver the boat, regain equilibrium as the boat shifts, move heavy objects into balanced positions in readiness for the new direction, and “batten down the hatches” to prepare for the change. A lot of energy has to be exerted. Accurate observation of the prevailing forces is an equally important part of the creative process so that all the energy is expended in the right direction. Leo North Node people are great on the observation end, but they must remember to swing into action in order to create changes in the physical world.
THE SCIENTIFIC APPROACH VERSUS CREATIVITY
Sometimes Leo North Node people can practically “think themselves to death.” They analyze everything, think of all the things that can go wrong, check the moods of the people around them, and gain all the knowledge they can so that they won’t make a mistake once they decide to act. However, there are so many different things to think about that they become overwhelmed and paralyzed. This tendency to seek security through “certain knowledge” can keep them from taking the risks that could increase their vitality, and it often locks them into stagnant, passive lives.
These folks are learning to become more fluid; they must start trusting their intuition rather than clinging to their logical strategies. They need to be willing to consider that their basic premise might be in error. However, they often assume they possess superior knowledge; even though that “knowledge” blocks them from manifesting their dream, they may stubbornly hold on to it. “In order for me to follow my heart and take a chance to create what I want, x, y, and z conditions must first be met.” But they never are. These folks need to release the idea that they can be totally in control of the success or failure of their dream. In fact, life is their partner; when they put aside their concerns and begin doing whatever they can each moment, little by little they will make their dreams real. If they are not willing to do this and their “right conditions” are never met, these folks may postpone taking a risk until it is too late and the window of opportunity is closed.
Leo North Node people are learning how to transcend the limitations of the scientific approach and be truly creative. Creativity can’t be planned or put on a schedule. It is a process of working hand in hand with the intuition and energy available in each moment and with the materials at hand. It involves deciding where to go and then cooperating with the universal Flow to accomplish that objective. The end result may not be exactly what was expected, but the energy of that expectation will be joyously and successfully manifested.
Leo North Node people must accept what the universe brings to help make their dreams come true. When they say to the universe: “I want an answer on this,” and every time the universe brings them an answer their mind says: “No, that’s not it,” they invalidate their own answers by not acting on them. They go in circles and feel estranged from their life force. When this occurs, it is a signal for these folks to take action. They need to contribute to life in some way: pick up the phone and call a friend, send a loved one a gift, or sign up for a sport or activity that will reconnect them with their energy. When they are linked with their own energy they feel articulate, able to connect with others emotionally and intellectually—they feel terrific!
GOING WITH THE FLOW
Leo North Node people lack recognition of their personal power to make creative changes in their lives. They think the Flow has all the power, so they feel powerless. Often they even put up with abusive situations—believing “that’s just how it is”—because they don’t think they have the power to change it. One of their most important lessons in this lifetime is to recognize that they do have the power—in fact, a special talent—to enact constructive change based on their own view of the larger picture.
In past lives these folks would tune in to the Flow of Universal Energy to guide them, and that worked perfectly. In this lifetime, as long as they are actively pursuing their own goal (one that resonates with their inner child), they can again trust that the Flow (with a capital “F”) is guiding them in the right direction. The danger lies in when they do not feel an inner connection to their goal. Then, because their destiny in this lifetime is to learn how to relate with others in a creative way, the flow they pick up is actually other people’s energy, not Universal Guidance. At these times, when they’re “going with the flow” (small “f”), it’s really the flow of other people’s desires and wants, which may be based on very selfish concerns.
Leo North Node people also go along with the flow to appease people. It’s their way of cooperating and being accepted without having to get in the middle of things and risk emotional disruption. The only problem is that when these people go along with the flow, they frequently end up playing second fiddle to other people’s willfulness. When they feel this maelstrom of other people’s desires, their best bet is to simply step back and temporarily withdraw so they can recognize and validate their own feelings in the situation—then simply trust what they want. Their job is to follow what makes their inner child happy. As those feelings grow stronger, these folks will know they are on the right path.
Their minds—which use “scientific appraisals” of what’s best for everyone—are not good barometers for Leo North Node people in this lifetime. They need to focus on the joy of the child within. When they choose to walk in this direction, someone who was counting on them for his or her own needs may feel hurt or disappointed. But they should keep in mind that in the larger scheme of things, this may be exactly what the person needs to learn in terms of his or her own personal responsibility. Leo North Node people have no idea of what everyone else’s lessons are. All they can know with certainty is the feeling of pure happiness inside themselves; that feeling is their only sure beacon toward right action.
When Leo North Node people follow their minds rather than the longings of their own hearts, they avoid what they are here for in this incarnation—to do what makes them happy. For many lifetimes these people have served humanitarian purposes, so their inner child has been very purified. Whatever makes that happiness inside them “ring true” is what they need to follow—it is the only voice that will lead them out of the confusion of other people’s ego energy and into the light of their own radiant individuality.
Most folks would give anything to be given the following prescription in this lifetime: Play and have fun! These folks are free to do this because they automatically act in ways that are responsible. Their pathway of Right Action now is to pursue their individuality and to manifest their own dreams without allowing others to stand in their way.
These folks may have unfortunate “group karma” in this lifetime, which contributes to their confusion with other people’s energy. In past lives they were very involved with groups of people, but they lost touch with their own individuality. In this incarnation they tend to decide which social group they’d like to be a part of, and then “make themselves” belong. They act out the part: They start dressing like those people, using the same expressions, emulating their behavior, and adopting their perspectives. When the group does accept them, they lose their identity in the effort of being just like everyone else. The problem is, they did the process backwards! Instead of being themselves (that is, expressing their own individuality and choosing friends based on true inner affinity), they used their minds to decide whom they would be friends with. Even as children, these folks have a tendency to fall in with “fast-lane” peers and then get into trouble because they are following their friends rather than their own judgment.
In all group situations, Leo North Node people face the challenge of expressing their own individuality. Often they end up being part of groups where others think they belong—but sometimes their “disguise” breaks down at a decisive moment because the people around them recognize that these folks are not really being themselves, and thus feel a lack of mutual trust.
It would benefit these folks to understand the true nature of a group. Groups that one can really count on for support are based on a natural coming together of individuals who are in touch with their intrinsic natures and have their own personal sense of what is important. These groups form spontaneously out of the natural affinity. That is why, in order for Leo North Node people to have healthy group relationships, they must stay in touch with their inner being. In the process of asserting their individuality, they will truly notice and respect the individuality of others. Their alliances will be based on mutual respect for one another’s unique inner nature, rather than yielding to one another’s wills and expectations.
DAYDREAMING VERSUS MANIFESTATION
Many times, Leo North Node people lose themselves in daydreaming about the future. This is owing to the sadness they feel because they have not created the vitality they seek. They daydream about everything: how it’s going to be “later,” someone they’re going to run into again, someone they know and how it could be—perhaps how it will be … until dream after dream fills their consciousness. However, spending too much energy in daydreaming dilutes their creative fire. They need to spend less time in daydreaming and more time in taking action.
In this lifetime it works for them to decide: “Well, what would I like to create? What would be fun for me?” They get many different ideas, and their inner child says: “Yeah, let’s do that one!” The only problem is that they can sit back for years thinking about it, doing nothing. It creates a deep sadness within when they waste years never realizing their dreams.
The issue of manifesting dreams is a crucial one. In this incarnation Leo North Node people have the power to create their own destiny, but it’s up to them to take charge of their lives and do it! They must choose one dream that resonates deeply for them and take the steps in the outer world that will turn that dream into reality. Sometimes this can be a frustrating process. There can be such a gap between their dream and reality that it seems almost impossible to bring the two into alignment. Yet these people have a unique talent for manifesting in the material world whatever they dream about. The first step is to recognize that participating in the game of creativity can itself be fun and satisfying. They need to enjoy the process of creating their dream, and not postpone happiness until “later.”
Leo North Node people have a tendency to become impatient with their dreams and try to force them into reality. Sometimes the gap between their dreams and current circumstances seems too wide, and they give up in defeat. Yet this is not in their best interest, for in their hearts they continue to long for their dream and feel dissatisfied with the reality around them. They must slow themselves down and allow the creative process itself to lead them. As they successfully complete the first step toward their goal, the next step will occur to them. If they wait to see the whole picture before taking action, they will never gain enough “knowledge” to have the confidence to act. For them, vitality lies in taking risks.
FOCUS VERSUS DISTRACTION
Leo North Node people are learning to keep their goal in mind. They are so easily distracted by life’s multitude of opportunities that they have trouble staying “tuned in” to the goal that originally excited them. They are learning to develop their will and stay on path regardless of distractions and obstacles. To do this, they need to see themselves as players instead of observers.
Sometimes, when they first see an opportunity to experience their dream, they get caught up in the happy energy this creates and start moving in that direction. But then they realize there isn’t a straight, easy road from where they are to where they want to be. If things start to become shaky and are not turning out as they imagined, they tend to give up, or they get distracted on some other path that holds less energy for them in the long run.
Leo North Node people are learning that to create the happiness they envision for their lives, they won’t always be able to forge straight ahead. As they move toward their goal, a “second force” is often introduced—a resistance to their dream. Then they must pull back and rise above that resistance—experience a growth in character that takes them to a new level. It’s somewhat like a fairy tale: The Prince has to go through tests of character (slaying the monsters, etc.) before he wins the prize. The second force that these folks encounter is actually a part of their character that has always been in their way but that only becomes apparent when it stands between them and getting something they want. If they want to win the prize, they must go through these tests of character—gaining in strength and self-discipline and overcoming their greatest fears—and not back down.
One of the main lessons Leo North Node people are learning is to become involved in the joy of the creative process. But their greatest frustration can be the discrepancy between their dreams and the stark reality they see unfolding around them. Although these folks are accustomed to “going with the flow” of what others have created, in this lifetime they are supposed to create the situations they want. But they don’t know how. How does someone so used to following an objective, uninvolved path suddenly turn around and create something? How does he even begin? The fear of not knowing is what leads Leo North Node people into the trap of pursuing more and more knowledge, seeking an answer that they hope will empower them to act. Ultimately, the answer is intention. When they are totally focused on what they want to create, the knowledge they need will come to them in the process of going forth to actively create what they want. In this incarnation, their job is to create their dreams now.
KNOWLEDGE VERSUS EXPERIENCE
Leo North Node people are always hoping that they will gain enough knowledge to feel confident in taking action. But these folks could be 200 years old and still think they didn’t have enough knowledge to act! They must stop using knowledge as an excuse to postpone action and admit that it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. In fact, it’s through making mistakes that we gain more “real” knowledge about what actually works in life.
In certain ways, Leo North Node people have lots of solid self-confidence. However, their self-confidence is founded on trusting their own information base. They have total confidence in what they think they know, but their sense of “knowing” is based on past experience and observations. When they form rigid ideas based on knowledge only of the past, they limit the potential of their future. Their challenge is to be willing to not know—to be childlike and experiment. They need to follow their hearts—to try things even though other people aren’t doing them—and find out what happens. This will bring vitality back into their lives, and they will see that even though they don’t “know” how to do it, they can create positive results here and now.
These folks like to wait for the certainly of knowledge in order to avoid the pain of making mistakes. But they need to learn to follow the dynamism of their inner child, which will take them into new, uncharted territories of pleasure, excitement, discovery, romance, and creativity. If they don’t, they will become discontented, disassociated, and confused about why the drummer they were following didn’t lead them to a happier place. Any stubborn attachment to “knowledge” or “conditions” as a guide will be a stumbling block. For example, a Leo North Node client of mine had spent the past twenty-two years trying to leave his wife so that he could begin a new life. But he became fixated on the idea that in order to leave, he had to amass enough money to take care of his wife financially. For twenty-two years the more money he made, the more she spent, and he could never accumulate enough money to meet his prerequisite. However, his wife was creative, independent, and highly intelligent. By not allowing her the power to make it on her own, and by continually striving to meet his “conditions” before acting, he trapped himself in an unhappy marriage.
To increase their vitality and enjoyment of life, Leo North Node people must step out into the unknown, and find their truth directly through experience. To take risks without knowing all the repercussions requires trust, and to gain innovative knowledge requires the innocent courage of a child. These folks must trust the vitality within themselves. If they keep their goal in mind, they will see what adjustments to make along the way in order to get where they want to go.
Leo North Node people are excellent at games and can play out any role they choose. Their objectivity allows them to construct excellent strategies. Once they have a goal firmly in mind, they can see how to play their role with the other people involved to make their dream come true. This talent can be particularly useful in situations where they feel insecure. If they allow themselves to view it as a “game,” their natural ability to role play will kick in.
Once they discern their role, they can create a strategy for winning. The strategy may call for them to play different roles as the situation progresses. At one stage they may need to be “Jim the Healer” and at the next stage “Jim, the Man of Your Dreams.” The idea is to see the role they need to play to further their goal at that time, and then to play it to the hilt. They’re very good at it, and it’s immense fun for them at the same time! The only word of caution is for them to remember the importance of fairness and to only enact roles that work for the best interest of everyone involved.
Leo North Node people would do well to recognize that they can also use their sense of drama to emphasize a point so that others hear them. Because of their tendency to go along with things, people often take advantage of their easy-going nature. Then they resent that others aren’t taking them seriously and giving them the respect they deserve. So they must be firm in making a point: “I have an important phone call right now; I can’t talk, I’ll be out in fifteen minutes.” It’s not what they say, but how they say it, that gets others’ attention. They can use their dramatic flair to meet their more immediate needs in day-to-day situations as well.
These folks are also excellent gamblers, because they are not immersed in “winning” on an emotional, ego-centered level. Since they are aware of the larger forces and prevailing energies of the Flow, they know when to press forward and when to pull back in placing their bets—and in reaching their goals. In this lifetime, they are learning that even a “wrong” action—if they are following the energy of happiness in their heart—is better than inaction. However, it’s important that they continue to think of it as a game. They must continue to reassess their strategy before making a new move if they want to win.
These people desperately need the energy of approval. They have had so many past incarnations of being detached, of being “nobody,” that in this incarnation they are terrified of being “somebody”—and of being themselves. Through many lifetimes of sublimating their identity to a larger cause, they have lost track of who they are. This makes them exceptionally good actors and actresses; they are willing to play the role of somebody else in order to get the approval they so greatly need. In fact, the approval of being validated and applauded for positive participation is healthy for these folks—it grounds them in their own active personality.
DEVELOPING THE EGO
The function of ego (as it is discussed in this chapter) is to articulate desire, to interweave the individual’s wants and needs with the rest of the world. The ego verbally communicates the direction the individual wants to go. It is the decision maker and activator of the will. Leo North Node people have had many past lifetimes of being immersed in a “superego” mindset based on “shoulds” and “oughts”—morality as dictated by society, family, religion, or an awareness of humanitarian ideals. As a result, they have lost contact with their personal ego—a sense of themselves as individuals, with individual needs and directions. They are aware of their id—their spontaneous “gut reactions” to things—and their superego mind, but they are not in touch with their ego as a mediator between the two. Thus, they tend to swing between being too accommodating and allowing others to walk all over them, and erupting in anger that their “line of fairness” has been violated. Often they don’t even understand what is happening, and they find it difficult to explain their anger to themselves or others.
Without a sense of ego to help them make good decisions, these folks can become extraordinarily stubborn. If they think they can’t leave a situation for knowledge-based reasons (shoulds, oughts, moral or spiritual beliefs) even though their gut tells them it’s not healthy, they’ll stay no matter what. This stubbornness can work to their advantage if they convert it to determination in actively pursuing their goals, but it works against them when they remain in a stagnant, limiting situation. Their motive in remaining can also be safety, security, and fear of change. Usually they try to turn their inertia into something positive by finding a new challenge within the old situation to make them feel creative. But the fact is that if there’s only so far they can go, ultimately it will end up as self-limitation. They might find the courage to break free if they set a time limit for themselves. They can use the predetermined time to prepare themselves for leaping into a new life. When they make up their mind and refuse to consider any other options, they activate their will and suddenly have the power and energy to change.
In this incarnation Leo North Node people are here to consciously develop a healthy ego. Their challenge is to strengthen the ego by validating it, verbally communicating what they perceive from a superego point of view, as well as what they are experiencing in the id (their gut reaction). For example, they could say: “I know I shouldn’t be angry about this because you’ve had a hard day at work; you’re tired, and you just want to forget about dealing with people. But I get very upset when you come home, pick up the newspaper, plop down in front of the TV, and don’t talk with me. I’d like to create some time each evening for taking care of each other and regenerating our relationship.”
Once these natives have voiced their own truth and expressed what they feel and want without censoring themselves, they begin to develop a sense of their unique individuality. This takes tremendous courage, but it is the only way for these folks to ground and integrate themselves on a vital, solid level. When they communicate both their superego and id point of view in a loving but firm way, creative solutions become apparent, their egos grow stronger, and others begin to pay attention to what they say. If they don’t strongly communicate their feelings to others, how can people really know them and give them what they want?
By consciously developing their ego through their accomplishments, these folks can stay on the path of Right Action and also give the gift of putting other people more in touch with their superegos. By sharing the larger picture that they see and by communicating gut reactions from their id, they help others have a more expansive outlook that takes everyone’s best interests into account.
DEVELOPING THE WILL
Leo North Node people also have a mission in this lifetime of developing their will—evoking and building the strength within themselves to actively pursue their dreams. They have more inner strength than they realize, and they are learning to recognize and integrate this. Part of the process involves acknowledging the amount of time it takes to manifest things of value. If they want a dream to come true, they must be willing to give it time. The other people involved need time to come into alignment with Leo North Nodes’ dream, and the preparatory steps must be completed in the physical realm. All these things require time, so these folks must have endurance for the long haul.
They will create the dreams of their heart if they are willing to go slowly—step by step—in completing each stage of the process and allowing the next step to be revealed. If they focus on the goal and stay in touch with their inner feeling of happiness, the process will build the strength of character required to handle—and fully appreciate—the fruits of their labor. To connect with their inner power, however, Leo North Node people must push through a mountain of self-doubt: “What if I fail? What if I can’t?” The idea is to not think about failure. Instead, just try it. It can take these folks a long time to begin recognizing their inner power, but once they accept it, nothing can stop them!
Will is the instrument they need to manifest their dreams. They will also be strengthened by remembering that what they are looking for is also looking for them. At the same time they are persistently taking steps to reach their dream, the dream is beckoning them and pulling them onward.
In order to feel motivated, Leo North Node people often have to be “propelled” in a certain direction. They feel a pull from a person or situation—and when they follow that pull, they find that they’re on track. But in this incarnation they must remember to stay in touch with their own inner motivation, not just what others want them to do.
Sometimes these folks become so detached and inactive that they pull back from being involved in anything. This can be especially difficult for those with whom they share reciprocal responsibility (such as a spouse or a business partner) because when a crisis hits, these folks tend to disappear and let those around them handle it. When there is a family crisis, they may not want to be involved—they really don’t want to do anything. Others feel they have to prod them, knock them over the head, or threaten them to get them to help.
Instead of responding to this, Leo North Node people often pull further away. They feel all the emotional energy in those around them—and they don’t know what to do. What they should do is pull back for just an instant and get in touch with their own heart. What would they like to see happen in the situation? What would make them happy? Once they can see it, they must take responsibility and do their part to create that positive outcome.
When they’re following their inner prompting, no one needs to force them or prod them because they are already actively pursuing their own course. As an individual, they may want to handle one area of a relationship and not another, or resolve one type of crisis and not another. To be helpful and fair to everyone, they should define the areas in which they are willing to participate and let others know when they can—and cannot—be counted on. For example, they may be happy to play with the children, but need an hour every evening right after work to be by themselves and get centered. They should find out what their spouse needs and then find a way to meet both partners’ requisites.
Because these folks are learning to get in touch with their inner selves and clearly define what they want, they need to remember to make only those commitments that are in alignment with what they want or with what they truly feel is fair—and keep their word! If they say they’re going to become involved on a certain level, they need to follow through and do it. On the other hand, if they choose not to participate in something, they need to discuss that honestly with the other people involved. In the process of opening up communication, a higher degree of order is created that brings more joy for all concerned.
Leo North Node people are dependent on receiving love from others. When they risk sharing their feelings and desires, they tend to give up if others don’t immediately provide validation. They quickly become silent again. But they may have to put some energy—some drama—into their communication so that others understand that it’s important to them. They must be firm in expressing their needs so that others take them seriously. And their motive should not just be “getting their way,” but expressing the integrity of who they are so that their character and ego can develop. Their self-expression is the natural architect of the boundaries within them. When they are not honestly and firmly expressing their true inner reactions, they are inadvertently being unfair to others: They are denying others the opportunity to really see who they are, interact with them, and meet their needs.
These folks have an incredible talent for stimulating enthusiasm in others and making them happy. They can apply this talent to both business and personal arenas. The key is to be willing to participate—to become involved with others and to communicate with their hearts as well as their heads. When they become disappointed in a situation and withdraw, everyone loses. When they increase their interest and continue to put constructive energy into the situation, everyone wins.
Leo North Node people are very attuned to the emotions and wills of the people around them. They feel what others want, the different directions of each person’s will in the situation, and what they are striving to create. When they get into the middle of all that emotional energy, they don’t know how to handle it. They often detach themselves rather than participate. But actually, these folks have incredible abilities to deal with the wills and emotions of other people. Because they don’t have an ego attachment to the will, they have the objectivity to see how a given situation can work out fairly so that everyone’s divergent needs and wants are acknowledged. They need to learn to detach only momentarily—just long enough to see what is going on—and then use their power to accurately appraise the situation. Then they can use their emotional energy and ability to act out a role to create positive results.
They must be willing to step into the middle of a situation and begin to play with people. In this way they can create the right energy so that everyone’s divergent wills align for the good of the whole, bringing justice, fairness, equality, and harmony to the situation. This is the happiest use of their ability to detach—to turn it into conscious involvement where they exercise their will in a truly creative way. They also must remember to include their will—what they want—as part of the equation, or the solution won’t work out in the long run.
Leo North Node people can be self-conscious, and this is debilitating for them. Actually, they are happiest and most confident when their attention is focused outward, uplifting the spirits of those around them. However, when they become self-reflective, they get “stuck” in feelings of insecurity; their energies begin to circle around themselves instead of moving forward. Involvement, then, is a key ingredient for their happiness and vitality.
Leo North Node people tend to have serious issues around commitment. The issues usually arise when these folks allow themselves to become deeply involved in something—especially a romantic relationship. All of a sudden someone may enter their life who is so attractive that they say: “Okay, I’m going to take the risk and get involved.” And they really want to. The energy of romance is healthy for them—it stimulates their basic vitality, makes them want to be alive, and fills them with joy. So they “go for it” and get right into the middle of all the emotional energies that are stimulated.
Being very perceptive about what the other person wants, these folks go about playing the role of the other person’s ideal mate. They charm the other person and say all the things she wants to hear. They create much happy romantic energy, and the other person responds with love and affection. There is mutual joy, and things go well for a while. But at some point the partner starts to relax, be more assertive, and exercise her own will—and the Leo North Node person becomes irritated. He feels that if he is going to embody the “ideal mate” for his partner, the partner should do the same for him. He becomes very upset when his partner starts to be herself; often he may simply withdraw and drift on, never really making a commitment to create a relationship that feeds energy back to both partners over the long haul.
The Leo North Node person’s commitment needs to be on a deeper level—not just when things are going well. It isn’t fair to the other person, who responds to his advances and becomes open and vulnerable, only to have her heart broken when the Leo North Node person changes his mind and leaves by detaching either emotionally or physically. And since these people do have a strong sense of fairness, they must be willing to monitor the relationship carefully and use their creative power to make it work.
Their challenge is to interweave the strong picture of the situation they would like to create and the creative will of the other person. The first step in doing this is to find out who the other person really is. What are the other person’s ideals, dreams, and goals? What is important to him or her to create and experience in this lifetime? Also, where is that person willing to yield to accommodate the individual needs of the Leo North Node person? These things need to be discussed to ascertain whether or not the two personalities can blend. If the Leo North Node person can align himself with his partner’s values and aspirations, there can be supportive mutual involvement. Both individuals can move together toward fulfillment of their common goals. These folks need to recognize that the vitality of romance is not always found only between two people with identical ideals, wants, and needs. In fact, often the fire they are seeking is created by two temperaments that, in some ways, are very dissimilar; it is through the process of encouraging individuality that the fire burns hotter.
Leo North Node people may overlook a lot of what is going on around them, because they are receptive to so many distractions. The biggest problem is that when they are overlooking certain aspects of a situation, they do not tune in to how things are affecting them. Instead, they ignore anything unpleasant. This allows them to avoid taking responsibility and clearly stating their feelings. Some situations remain unresolved because these folks have not been honest and clear. The worst impact of this tendency is usually on their intimate relationships. When they overlook what others want and the others become disappointed or upset, the Leo North Node people may feel overwhelmed by incredibly fierce emotional responses from others that were not anticipated. And then these folks are crushed—they can’t figure out what they did that evoked such wrath. After all, they just ignored the whole thing and went on with their lives!
But looking back, they always feel they should not have overlooked what they were feeling, and they wish they had given the other person the chance to respond by communicating honestly.
To avoid problems like this, they need to pay special attention to what the other person truly wants—not on a quick, what’s-going-to-charm-of-appease-them basis, but real understanding of the other person’s values and dreams in the relationship. They can learn to open up their hearts and take personal responsibility.
Many problems with taking responsibility have to do with trust. Leo North Node people violate other people’s trust without intending to or recognizing when they have done it. This is why other people sometimes react violently against them. If these folks can see the child in other people, they will recognize that everyone operates from a certain level of trust that others are going to keep their word. They cannot discount or violate this trust without experiencing severe repercussions. Once they give their word, they must keep it as they would with a child—to reinforce the trust that others give them. If they change their plans, they must let those who were counting on them know in advance what is happening, and not just go their own way.
They also need to be aware of the “game” that they have given other people the impression they are playing—and know what the rules are. Once they have agreed to the rules—or let others believe they have agreed to the rules—they need to take responsibility and play by those rules. For example, if they’re involved in a relationship and one of the rules is monogamy, they have to be monogamous. They can’t just “go with the flow” and let momentary distractions take them in some other direction. They must be true to their word and create what they say they are going to create.
Since they have learned about detachment in past lives, they may not recognize how attached others are to them; but when they act carelessly, others react vehemently. Leo North Node people are learning to recognize that those in the other nodal groups often take life much more personally than they do.
RIGIDITY VERSUS VITALITY
Leo North Node people have a tendency to get “stuck” on what they think they “know.” They take in a few objective facts and then reach a conclusion based on their perception of the situation, their goal, and their own needs. Often they become rigidly attached to their position, refusing to budge. Then they begin to plan for the future based on their decision, which they consider to be “objective, irrevocable truth.”
The problem with this process is that these folks tend to reach their “conclusions” and “certain knowledge” without discussing anything with the others involved. They may remember something the other person said and base their “knowledge” on that, rather than sitting down with the other person and allowing new truths to emerge from the interaction. They should be willing to share their feelings, their fears, and the conclusions they are drawing with an open mind and a willingness to receive new input.
A sensitive awareness of how others feel will empower Leo North Node people to act without provoking unexpected resistance. If they understand in advance how others feel—by being aware of others’ attachments to them and putting themselves in another’s place—they will be able to present their decisions in ways that others can accept. If they are willing to abandon logic and enter the realm of feeling and enthusiasm, they will discover that they are uniquely equipped to present their plans in a way that shows others how they also can win.
For example, if Leo North Node is dating a person and the fire dies out—or was never really there to begin with—his instinctive response may be to leave the relationship without explanation. This can cause emotionally distressing reactions in the other person: confusion, distrust of the opposite sex, feelings of personal inadequacy … sometimes Leo North Node people don’t realize how unfair or hurtful they can be. Taking the responsibility to openly acknowledge the direction their individuality is taking can be mutually empowering: “I just don’t feel the fire anymore, so I’m interpreting that as an indication that it’s time for me to move on. I’m being honest with you because I want you to know what’s happening. This way, it opens the door for someone new to come into your life who can make you much happier than I can.”
These folks have an incredible ability to “raise the mood” by tapping into other people’s feelings. When they present things in a way that evokes others’ enthusiasm, the resulting energy motivates them into action. Other people’s feelings and emotional energy can actually be a source of power for them—a fuel that motivates them to put their dreams into action. Thus, rather than overlook or ignore people’s feelings, their best bet is to be aware of them and work with the emotional energy.
DYNAMICS AND PARTICIPATION
Leo North Node people don’t like to fight. They may be experts at provoking fights, but when it comes to getting into the trenches and hashing out an emotionally charged issue, their tendency is to withdraw. They either sit in silence, “tuning out” the other person (which makes their partner mad), or they leave the situation to avoid dealing with it. They can be like ostriches—sticking their heads in the sand, hoping the problems will simply go away. They think that because they are not participating in the drama around them, it’s not their fault if the relationship becomes negative. Yet their lack of participation often breaks the hearts of those who want to love them.
When these folks pull out of a situation, they become inaccessible. Then, when they think the emotional intensity has diminished, they return and act as though nothing happened. The problem is that they begin to accumulate a bad history with the people around them. The unresolved problems build up, and eventually their partners withdraw emotionally or physically from the relationship because of the unresolved tension. Others may think that these people don’t care about them because of their lack of generosity in responding to others’ emotional needs.
Sometimes this occurs because of their ideals of how relationships ought to be: “without any drama, nothing to discuss, no issues to resolve; relationships don’t have problems.” They fail to recognize that crisis can actually be a focal point that draws two people closer in an intimate bond of understanding and empathy. Willingness to help another person through upsets and frustrations can result in a depth of mutual appreciation, open giving, and loyalty that could not otherwise have been forged. Indeed, an alchemical process occurs when two people make a commitment to share in the process of giving and receiving on a deep level, being willing to create something positive out of what may first seem to be a negative situation. If these folks take the energy they put into withdrawing and being miserable, and put it into becoming involved and creating happiness, it becomes a win for everyone concerned!
For Leo North Node people, part of their detachment springs from their innate sense of fairness: They support the individuality of others and don’t want to interfere with—or suppress—the other person. But in this lifetime these folks are learning to draw boundaries, to say “no,” to say: “That behavior hurts me. If you continue to do that, I will leave.” They are taking a hand in their own destiny and giving the other person an opportunity to change. This simple, honest expression of their own individuality is much healthier for them than just leaving a relationship without notice.
Because they have the gift of being aware of what pleases the other person, these folks assume that others also have the ability to know what pleases them. So when others don’t “give back” (by doing things to please them) they think the situation is unfair and begin to withdraw. In fact, others are not ILS objective and observant as Leo North Node people, and are often unaware of how to please them unless they give some clues.
Leo North Node people have had so much past-life experience being aware not only of their own desires but of the desires of others that when they want something, they have already established that it will be a positive thing for those around them as well. Because we all tend to feel that others are just like us, they assume that others’ desires also take everyone’s best interests into account. But this is not the case. Others generally do not check the “fairness” of their desires relative to those involved, and many of their desires may be selfish and shortsighted. So when Leo North Node people just go along with the desires of others, they often end up losing and then they resent the other person for not having looked out for them. They are learning to look out for themselves; and if they are in a situation that is not fair, it’s important to let other people know how they feel.
DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL ENERGY
Leo North Node people are not comfortable with highly charged emotions. They may evade communicating because they don’t want a confrontation. Once they have made a decision (about not pursuing a relationship, etc.), they just do it. They may even avoid contact with the other person, who is then left hanging, not sure what happened and why the Leo North Node person is no longer involved.
Inwardly, these folks can be so aware of the intensity of their partners’ feelings that it’s hard to express what they are feeling. When they remember to objectively share their larger view of what’s going on, as well as their feelings, it will help them communicate. They have a reticence to tell the other person what’s “wrong.” They’re afraid it may devastate the other person, whereas in actuality their honest communication gives the partner the benefit of their objective view.
But everything depends on motive, and their intention must be cleat. If their motive for sharing thoughts about a partner’s behavior is an expression of love, genuinely wanting to benefit the relationship, their partner will feel the loving intent. But if they are bringing it up out of anger, they will lose. Their objective view really can be very helpful to the other person. But problems will arise if these folks become rigidly attached to their insight, insisting they are “right” regardless of feedback from the other person.
Leo North Node people have a tendency to not put energy into their relationships. They go into denial about what is actually going on. Even if the relationship becomes abusive, they tell themselves: “This is how it is; everyone goes through this.” They continue to hold on to their ideals, dreams, and expectations of how they would like the relationship to be, without putting energy into creating what they want, until one day they become so disillusioned that they give up. Then they “turn off the switch” and leave. Instead, they must learn to use their creative energy to change things into what they want rather than detaching from how things really are.
These people miss tremendous opportunities in life when they neglect romance, play, and giving love to others. They have the potential to be surrounded by love throughout their lives, yet often they end up without love. When they lose out on love and romance, it’s usually because they are not willing to put enough energy into the relationship to make it work.
For Leo North Node people, the answer is commitment to active participation. Particularly at the beginning of a relationship, these folks must be willing to commit 100 percent to creating a true combining of their ideals and the other person’s ideals. They must speak up about what they want after they find out what the other person wants. Particularly in romance, they need to find out what the ideal romantic relationship would be for the other person. Then the Leo North Nodes person can determine if the other person’s ideas are compatible. If so, the Leo North Node person can confidently enter the relationship with his or her tremendous talents for creating happiness.
Leo North Node people are wonderful with children, and children are “good karma” for them. Being with children puts them in touch with the child within. In fact, one of the main purposes for Leo North Nodes in this incarnation is to get in touch with the inner child and to allow that child to play and openly express itself. The joy and vitality they feel through play pulsates through them and resonates with the children, who have more fun with the Leo North Node adult than they ever would on their own.
These folks recognize the individuality of each child and are aware of how the child is responding to outer stimuli. They treat children as people in ways that encourage discipline while allowing for individuality. They have special talents with children. It would benefit if they shared their knowledge of how to treat children through the written or spoken word, or if they chose a profession in which they could work with children. This would help others learn how to treat children, and make everyone happier.
GIVING AND RECEIVING
Leo North Node people can seem aloof, yet they long to be involved in romantic, passionate relationships to feed their vitality. Romantic relationships are based on giving—indeed, giving to one another keeps the flame burning. The giving can take many forms: compliments, encouragement, gifts, approval, understanding, cheering up the other person, and countless other ways both large and small. These folks are experts at knowing what and how to give—when they remember to go out of their way and pay attention to that “special other” in their life.
For Leo North Node people, motive is all-important. If they are giving with a pure motive—to make a contribution and to keep the energy flowing—then happiness is a natural by-product. But if they are giving with an expectation of payback or “keeping score,” then they are courting disappointment.
Accepting gifts and support from others is easy for Leo North Node people. They were accustomed to receiving in past lives, when their job was to allow themselves to graciously receive love and help. However, after many incarnations in this process, an inertia set in. They became bogged down, “overnurtured,” and lost touch with their personal initiative—the vitality, excitement, and creativity that come with being on the giving end of love. In this lifetime, these folks want their creative power back. And it is through giving that they can experience high energy.
The problem is that the process of giving without thought of return is not instinctive for them. Yet such giving can free them to receive more. When people focus on giving what they can in whatever situation they’re in, they leave the channels open to receive beyond their wildest expectations. But when they give in order to receive, they can only receive according to their expectations, which are naturally limited.
Having rigid expectations of what others should be giving back creates a situation in which others can give and give, but the Leo North Node never notices. For example, she may take a friend out to dinner. A month later she has a serious problem, and this same friend may spend hours on the telephone comforting her and helping her see the situation in a more positive way. But if she does not acknowledge the time and energy involved, she may still expect her friend to take her out to dinner and feel hurt if the friend doesn’t. Alternatively, giving freely (without expectation of return) would leave her open to the goodness of life that flows from unexpected sources. It would also help her appreciate all the little things that others do for her that she may not have previously recognized.
These folks may also begrudge the way others receive what they give. If they give in spurts, giving can seem like a big deal to them and they want the other person to appreciate it. They are learning to cultivate a consistent, giving spirit—giving in all the little ways that, in the end, are usually the most important.
If Leo North Node people keep track of how much they are giving without recognizing that in the process they are also being uplifted and revitalized, then they begin to feel like martyrs. When they become aware of themselves as giving or loving, then these actions become an ego tr