and North Node in the 6th House
ATTRIBUTES TO DEVELOP
Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents
Bringing order to chaos
Focusing on the here and now
Acting on feelings of compassion
Being of service to others
Analyzing and categorizing
Gaining self-confidence through experience
Taking risks in spite of fears
Noticing and valuing details
TENDENCIES TO LEAVE BEHIND
Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can help make life easier and more enjoyable
Being a victim (or having victim consciousness)
Confusion and disorientation
Avoidance of planning
Escapism/addictive tendencies (drugs, alcohol, excessive sleep, daydreaming, etc.)
Feelings of inadequacy
Vagueness (not wanting to commit)/inaction
Virgo North Nodes’ Achilles’ heel is victim consciousness (“If I don’t have constant, compassionate attention and understanding from others, someone will take advantage of me”). But it’s a bottomless pit: Others can never give them enough reassurance to overcome their inner sense of helplessness and paranoia. Only when they look within can they discover what outer structures they need to create in order to give themselves strength and purpose.
The trap they must avoid is an unending search for a savior or mentor whom they can trust blindly and to whom they can surrender (“If only I can surrender enough, God will put things in order”). However, life has shown them that inward surrender will not make the external world orderly and productive. The only way they can achieve their goals is to organize their lives in the way they need them to be, so they will feel safe and strong.
The bottom line is that they’ll never feel they have enough confidence to go into the world and do something productive. At some point they simply have to begin actively participating in life. The irony is that when they begin to participate and learn what leads to successful results, they will gain the confidence they seek.
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
What you really want is to be lost in the security blanket of their own personal connection with the universe. They want to “let go” into something larger than themselves that will support them and give them an expanded sense of identity. Virgo North Node people have an insatiable need to experience peace and oneness. But to successfully attain this goal, they must go into the world and be of service to others. As they shift attention from their own fears and focus instead on the here and now, they can easily see how to restore order in situations of chaos.
These people make excellent doctors, dentists, nurses, or nurses’ aides, because such professions give them the opportunity to use their healing energies while being of service in practical ways. Psychologist, healer, dietician, accountant, organizer, and craftsperson are also good choices. Virgo North Node people have “good karma” on the job and get along well with coworkers and employees. They can accomplish a task in one hour that might take another person five; they should be in a situation where “getting the job done” is honored, rather than simply working for an hourly wage.
Another reason the healing professions are excellent choices is that these jobs deal with the physical nuts and bolts of life. In fields where success is so dependent on paying attention to detail, Virgo North Node people are forced to stay in the present. For them, the process of physically creating order relieves psychological stress.
Virgo North Node people also have compassion and a capacity to remain aware of the larger picture. These past-life gifts of spiritual awareness are an asset when Virgo North Node actively participates in creating tangible results. However, professions in which the goal is attainment of spiritual consciousness and forgiveness tend to undermine the grounding these people need to feel strong and complete.
“I’m the only person who can put this situation in order, so I might as well do it.”
“This is not a victim lifetime.”
“When I withdraw, I lose; when I participate in creating positive results, I win.”
“When I focus and have a plan, the whole universe opens the pathway to success.”
These people have an innate awareness of the spiritual dimension of life and are attuned to the higher, lovelier realms of their own natures. They are extremely sensitive, easily wounded, and very careful to avoid causing pain to others. In fact, they are sometimes more aware of—and concerned about—other people’s suffering than the people are themselves.
DISSOLUTION OF EGO
Virgo North Node people have a history of many lifetimes spent in dissolution of the ego—either through meditation and spiritual quests; drug and/or alcohol abuse; confinement and time to reflect in convents, prisons, or asylums; or losing themselves in music, poetry, or art. No matter how the dissolution occurred, in this life they must deal with the effects. If it occurred through spiritual orientation, this lifetime will be total confusion until they find a spiritual path with principles similar to those of past incarnations. If it occurred through the use of drugs or alcohol, these people will have addictive tendencies in this lifetime that may again be problematic and may have to be overcome from a spiritual perspective (the 12-step programs of Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.). Talents with poetry, music, and art may still remain as a way of connecting with lofty emotional states.
These people have had many ethereal experiences and incarnations in which they gave up bits and pieces of their own identity in order to merge with a higher energy. But they have completed that process; allowing themselves to dissolve any further in this lifetime is counterproductive. They have already yielded to being absorbed in their vision. In this lifetime, they want to manifest their vision in the physical world.
In past life experiences, these people purified themselves by questioning their own motives and recognizing where they were lacking in virtue, thereby gaining a tremendous amount of insight that now allows them to be nonjudgmental toward others. In this lifetime, they don’t consider themselves “superior” in any way—their introspection has resulted in true humility.
Virgo North Node people have had so many victim lifetimes that they tend to give up too easily. They don’t do well with confrontation, competition, or any strong reactions against them. Their psyches are very sensitive, and life can seem harsh to these folks. In general, they don’t believe that more “stuff” is going to make them happier. Since their motivation for living is not to gain material things, if the world seems to resist their efforts to participate, they have a tendency to simply give up.
Because of past lives of being taken advantage of, when these people produce a creative work it is not uncommon to find that they have allowed it to be publicly distributed without any compensation, or that someone else has taken both the credit and the money. Often they don’t even mind. After all, the work fulfilled the service it was intended for. Also, in past-life monastic experiences they may have taken a vow of poverty and thus feel uneasy about accumulating wealth in this incarnation. Subconsciously, they may feel there is something “impure” about accumulating money. They need to recognize that money is a by-product of service—a barometer of the usefulness of their participation.
Virgo North Node people are truly compassionate and want to help wherever they can. In this lifetime, they need to recognize that by creating solid material bases and allowing their lives to become strong, they are in a better position to help on a wider scale. In this lifetime, to allow themselves to be “victims” does not work; resisting this tendency is the higher road for them.
DIFFUSION VERSUS FOCUS
These people have had many past lifetimes shut away from society. They are not accustomed to being in the world. Consider what it would be like to live many lifetimes in monasteries, where gongs signal the times for rising, meditation, prayers, exercise, eating, working, and sleeping—and someone else is ringing them! Monasteries function in this way so that the participants can gain an awareness of timelessness, formlessness, and the flow that underlies the mundane details of life. While this works very well in a monastery, now Virgo North Node people need to learn how to live in the world.
They must learn how to set routines for themselves—how to ring their own gongs. For instance, because they are accustomed to having someone else organize their time, they may have trouble being punctual. However, when they summon the self-discipline to live by the rules that give structure to society, they gain tremendous power and the self-confidence they need to function in the world. Thus, it is important for them to take charge and make sure they are on time for their appointments. Structure gives order and stability to their lives in ways that are nurturing and supportive.
Owing to the seclusion of their past lives, Virgo North Node people know how to entertain themselves with the power of their minds and imaginations. But what worked in the past is actually a detriment in this incarnation, where they need to produce positive, practical, tangible results in the material world. Thus, all forms of escapism are counterproductive for them. Daydreaming, drugs, alcohol, too much solitude, excessive sleeping—any form of withdrawal from life undermines their confidence.
This is not to say that they can’t occasionally enjoy themselves (relax and take a “break” from dealing with the nuts and bolts of life), but they must guard against overdoing avenues of escape to the point of forming addictions.
IMAGINATION, DAYDREAMS, AND FANTASY
These people have an acute awareness of the psychic and/or imaginative realms from their past lives. If these talents are not now directed properly, they can become a weakness resulting in paranoia, fear, and anxiety. However, when Virgo North Node people work toward a goal, their mystical talents can be used as tools to get the job done effectively. If there is an outlet for their creative imaginations—a service to provide for others—their visionary abilities can be a marvelous asset.
Virgo North Node people should keep their creative imaginations flowing outward by serving others and producing tangible results, rather than inward with undirected self-examination. They need to go through the hard work necessary to make their visions real by doing the research, organizing the project, producing it, and then seeing that it gets distributed. Getting the job done is easy and joyful in this lifetime—once they’ve defined their goal.
What these folks need to avoid is a tendency to daydream and fantasize. Through daydreaming they can connect with delicate, ethereal states of consciousness—almost as though they were on a “bliss” drug in some billowy realm. However, this state defeats their ability to function in the material world.
If they’re not happy with their situation, instead of working to change it they tend to use fantasy to escape into their own world. If used in moderation, these fantasies can actually give them a better idea of what they want. But it can take tremendous discipline to break the energy connection of the fantasy. It’s so addictive that it’s better for these folks to simply avoid indulging in deep fantasy. They can become so attached to otherworldly states of bliss that it prevents them from establishing the order and fulfillment in their daily lives that they need to experience true bliss. For example, they might become so involved in a fantasy involving family that it would prevent them from creating satisfying family relationships in their own lives.
I had a 48-year-old male client with this nodal position who had a fantasy of the “ideal woman,” and given the power of his fantasies, she was almost a reality in his imagination! He became involved in many relationships but couldn’t really commit, because none of the women matched the woman in his fantasy. This had been going on for thirty years, and he was still living alone and feeling depressed. Unfortunately, he deprived himself of the opportunity to learn what relationships are all about by not focusing on how he actually felt in response to the women he spent time with. In this way, fantasy can prevent these folks from taking constructive action to make their dreams come true in the physical realm.
CONFUSION VERSUS COUNSELING
Virgo North Node people sometimes lapse into a confused state of consciousness. For many people, confusion can be good: a prelude to a higher order. But for these folks, confusion is not “on path.” When they become confused, they begin questioning themselves and doubting everything they are doing, which undermines their current course of action. They need to turn away from the confused energy, refocus on circumstances in the outer world that triggered the confusion, and then re-enter the situation and restore it to order.
For example, if they become confused about a backlog of paperwork, their best bet is to sit down and go through the papers, physically handle them, and reorganize them in a way that makes sense to them. If they are confused about the behavior of a co-worker, they should face it head-on: Talk to the person and find out what is altering his or her behavior.
When experiencing a problem, Virgo North Node people usually benefit from going to a therapist or talking things out with a friend, because the interaction enables them to gain a more practical perspective. Their imaginations are so active that on their own, they tend to exaggerate problems and imagine all kinds of unresolvable situations. Their imagined fears can paralyze them from taking the steps that would restore order in their lives. So it is very helpful for them to get feedback as to whether their fears are based in reality or the product of an overactive imagination. Virgo North Node people are much more successful when they actively experiment to see what does and does not work on a practical level. They should not try to figure it all out in their heads.
If Virgo North Node people feel they are losing their boundaries in a relationship and are having difficulty communicating their frustration to their partner, then they may want to bring in a third party. They can be so sensitive to not wanting to hurt their partner that they may avoid the approach that would actually “get through.” The partner may need to hear: “Stop! This behavior is not acceptable! If you continue this behavior, you will push me to the point where I will leave!” A marriage counselor can be a valuable ally in communicating with their partner.
These folks actually make excellent counselors themselves, professionally and with their friends. Others feel their tremendous empathy and naturally trust them. Virgo North Node people have an energy that induces other people to confide in them; an analytical mind that enables them to give clear, practical advice; and a remarkable ability to combine intuition with common sense.
VAGUENESS VERSUS DETAIL
These people are so used to maintaining an awareness of the larger picture that they can easily overlook the details of the here and now. This can cause them to take actions that are not in their best interests. But as long as they pay attention to the actual details of any situation, they are very seldom deceived.
When they allow themselves to live in an unfocused state, they often start to feel anxious without knowing why. They may even feel vulnerable to attack, becoming overly suspicious and fearful of other people. In those moments, if they can just remember to focus on the details of what is going on around them (the clothes that someone is wearing, the details in a store window display, how the temperature of the air feels on their face, etc.), they calm down and feel secure again.
PAST-LIFE FEARS VERSUS THE HERE AND NOW
Virgo North Node people have learned the consequences of breaking the law in past lives, so in this incarnation they may have a strong sense of right and wrong, and an absolute phobia about breaking the law. They have a long history of superstition and may have many ideas about certain omens that should be followed to avoid a fearsome punishment. But looking for omens distracts them from noticing commonsense details. They have had so many past-life experiences with spiritual “messages” that they enter this lifetime looking for premonitions and ignore what is happening on a tangible level. Rather than watching for omens, these folks are better off observing the physical facts and getting direct feedback from others to confirm that they are on the right track. If they fear that “something is out of order,” rather than withdrawing, their best bet is to step forward and participate, enlist the support of others, face the fear, and create an environment that prevents the worst-case scenario from happening. As a simple example, rather than fearing that their telephone will be turned off, it is much better to set a regular time each month for paying the bills.
These folks excel in activities that bring them into the here and now. Bookkeeping is good for them, because they know their own financial situation at any given time. It is very empowering for them to be able to pull out their records and see what they had last year, and how it compares to this year. It gives them a powerful sense of grounding, orientation, and confidence.
Whatever keeps Virgo North Node people focused in the moment becomes a labor of love for them. Their jobs can have that effect on them; if not, they should reconsider their line of work. Computers can be excellent for them because, once again, the physical involvement and details keep them focused in the present moment. They excel at—and are very happy with—anything that requires paying attention to details in order to produce successful results.
SELF-DOUBT AND ANXIETY VERSUS FAITH AND ACTION
There is an aspect to Virgo North Node people that is very introverted and introspective. When they feel anxiety, they turn inward for solace and understanding. Unfortunately, they have no external checks to this inner process, and there’s no end to the anxiety, doubt, and suspicion that they can access. These people also have a tendency to go off by themselves and look back over their lives to see where they “went wrong.” But this can lead to a tremendous feeling of failure totally out of proportion to the facts. When they retreat and reflect, they are trying to understand things; but this practice simply does not work for them. They need to avoid self-doubt at all costs.
One of the worst things Virgo North Node people can do is doubt the purity of their goal. By the time they have gotten a clear picture of their objective, they have already run it through a rigorous process in their own mind to make sure it has a pure motive, is harmless, and will be of service to others. In this lifetime they are finding out how their vision can work on the practical level. It is healthy for them to use a process of trial and error, as this helps them discover what makes things work in the material realm.
These folks cling to the idea that when they encounter chaos, they can work it out and rise above it inwardly, and the situation will resolve itself outwardly. This creates frustration for those who are anticipating that the Virgo North Node person will become actively involved in solving the problem. They don’t understand when these folks remove themselves. It also creates frustration for people with this nodal position, as they feel misunderstood and don’t comprehend why their system isn’t working. However, in this lifetime they aren’t able to resolve their problems by turning inward. From an astrological point of view, resolution must come through external action.
Virgo North Node people also tend to invalidate themselves with feelings of inadequacy, which can really lead to a downward spiral. Sometimes they intuitively “pick up” a problem in advance, or feel anxious about their relationship with a person or the outcome of a situation, but don’t know why. If they focus on the anxiety, they imagine all kinds of “worst-case scenarios” and begin to interpret outer events selectively, in ways that validate their paranoia. Then, to regain a sense of inner balance and fight back their fear, they begin to doubt their intuitive response. Either way—using their minds to validate or invalidate their fears—does not work. What does work is reaching outside themselves for more objective information.
In fact, these folks’ intuitions are generally correct. For example, imagine that when they went to work they left a window open (a detail they didn’t consciously notice, but perhaps saw out of the corner of their eye). Suddenly it starts to rain and they become irrationally anxious about home, visualizing a burglar breaking in or a fire starting. They are fearful about their home and don’t know why. The solution is to return home, where they will probably notice the open window and rain coming in. The situation around which they feel anxious is accurate; and when they check out the details objectively, they can see the problem in a way that empowers them to resolve it, such as closing the window. They should neither invalidate their Intuition nor indulge their fears, but rather physically face the situation and analyze the facts, seeking more information if they need it.
Virgo North Node people need to have more faith in what they want to do—and faith, for them, is best built through action. Faith is a gift from their past lives. Through their experiences with surrender and seeing the larger vision, they gained faith in the moment-to-moment unfolding of daily living. In this lifetime, they know innately that “all is well and everything is happening as it should,” and they gain peace of mind and confidence from remembering this.
For example, I had a client with North Node in Virgo who lost her job. She used anxiety to boost herself into action; although she had three months to find another position, she immediately started looking. She found two positions and chose the one that fulfilled her idealistic picture of the ease of working in the suburbs instead of the city. After ten days on the job, she realized she had made a mistake and called to reapply for the first job. After much trouble and reluctance, they did accept her, but she was glad she went through the experience. “If I had immediately worked at the city clinic, I wouldn’t have appreciated it. I would wonder if I would have been happier in the suburbs. This way, I know!” The ability to see how everything is working in one’s ultimate favor is based on faith that “life is on my side and everything is unfolding in a way that can ultimately lead to my greatest happiness.”
A “SERVE OR SUFFER” LIFETIME
For Virgo North Node people, service is the antidote for internal suffering. These people have a great sense of connectedness with humankind and a deep compassion for the suffering of others. Even when someone wrongs another person, they usually understand both sides. They are innately nonjudgmental, and their hearts easily resonate with the suffering of others.
These folks are learning to act on their feelings of compassion. They have an inner knowledge that they are here to serve other people; yet when they start to do it, they begin to waver. When insecurities arise, they can remind themselves that their motive for helping is pure—their only intentions are to be of service and restore order. When they focus on the other person and what they can do to help, they are filled with a calm confidence. To be happy, they always have to be “fixing” something. Volunteer work or helping out friends and family makes them feel useful and fulfilled. It’s healthy for them to have lots of outer-directed activities.
They are not usually motivated to help promote abstract ideas: ending world hunger, manifesting global peace, or supporting the environment. They are motivated to help people. When somebody says: “I’m hungry” or “I’m having allergic reactions to my home environment,” they can’t say no. When somebody enters their personal space and touches them, their hearts well up with the joy of giving. But they need direct interaction to get their “helping juices” flowing.
Sometimes Virgo North Node people focus their desire to help on themselves. They may become self-absorbed, which can lead to a number of problems. They might worry more about how something affects them and not how it affects another person. For example, if someone at the office gets angry, they might be more concerned about “What are they trying to do to me?” rather than “What can I do to help them feel better?” They assume that everyone else always knows what they’re doing, and they think: “I’m in the weaker position. Others have to bend over backwards for me because they’re smarter, stronger, and more worldly and should know how sensitive I am.” However, the idea that they are “less than” others is not accurate. Actually, owing to many past incarnations spent in self-purification, in many ways they are more together!
Even if other people have a superior attitude, that doesn’t mean they always know what they’re doing. Thus, when Virgo North Node people assume that others know how sensitive they are but hurt them anyway, this is not correct. In truth, most other people are not as sensitive as these folks and are “rough” without realizing it. Virgo North Nodes need to stop focusing on themselves, and shift their concern to the other person. They should try to use their abilities to improve the situation, since others need and welcome their soothing, healing Virgo North Node energy.
Sometimes these people reverse their “less than” perception and see themselves as coming from a superior position. Then they feel they have to bend over backwards for others. When they see themselves as superior, they can afford to be kind; when they see themselves as inferior, they expect other people to be kind. Yet both positions are extremes, and neither one truly works because both have “self” as the center instead of service.
These folks are learning that they need to serve out of compassion and not out of duty. When they do things from feelings of love, they generate a spiritual quality that is the connection to the universe that they long for. When they are acting out of duty, they’re doing it with their head; when they are acting out of compassion, it’s coming from their heart. If they have to think about helping another, something is wrong. The genuine desire to help comes spontaneously from knowing themselves and being connected with their feelings. This gives them insight into human nature, a familial bond with others, and a connection to all humankind. When Virgo North Node people are in this spiritual, compassionate mode, incredible things happen to the people around them that are magical and healing.
GIVING VERSUS BEING DRAINED
These folks are by nature very sensitive, vulnerable, caring, compassionate, and forgiving—and this does leave them open to being taken advantage of.
In relationships, Virgo North Node people can gauge the right path by whether they lose or gain energy from an interaction. Other people feel their compassion and are attracted to them like moths to a flame. They listen to others’ problems nonjudgmentally, with empathy, and then often find their own energy drained. The lesson is to be discriminating about who is really interested in finding solutions and who is just looking for a shoulder to cry on. They need to allow into their lives only those who are truly seeking productive solutions. These folks will be good for Virgo North Node people, giving them confidence in their problem-solving talents—which they have in abundance in this lifetime. When they share their ideas with people who are really looking for solutions, everybody wins.
However, when they allow people into their lives who are only looking for sympathy and whose conversation is a one-way list of endless problems, these folks begin to lose energy and self-confidence. The other person usually walks away feeling great (temporarily), but the Virgo North Node person may have incurred such an energy loss that he can barely drag himself to bed because he has not been successful in finding a productive solution. This lessens his ability to help those who really are looking for solutions. Everyone loses when Virgo North Node people allow themselves to be exploited in this way.
Allowing their energy to be drained gives the message: “It’s okay to take advantage of another person by making him or her feel worse so that you can feel better.” When they do not allow this abuse, they are giving the other person the opportunity to stop, examine his or her behavior, and learn to become more sensitive to others.
These people may have a secret motive in allowing themselves to be abused. They have had many past lifetimes of suffering, self-abnegation, and pain, and they think that “no one really knows how much I’ve been through.” On an unconscious level they are looking to have their suffering recognized, and may put up with other people dumping problems on them because they are awaiting “their turn” to talk about their distress and anxiety.
However, others don’t generally “give back” by listening to them. And when they finally do find someone who will listen, it leads them into a bottomless pit of fear and anxiety. Moreover, they take the other person with them. Indeed, dwelling on unresolvable problems—either their own or someone else’s—is just not scheduled to work this lifetime. All the past-life feelings of pain, martyrdom, and suffering are best kept in Pandora’s box: Don’t open the lid!
TRANSLATING LOVE INTO SERVICE
In past lives, Virgo North Node people gained a lot of understanding and love that they want to share. Thus, in this lifetime they need to focus, participate, and make their wisdom available to others. They are learning how to translate love into service—and how to reconnect with the feelings of boundless love and compassion within themselves.
They also have healing talents stemming from a tremendous power of faith, once they tap into it. Not infrequently, miraculous healing has occurred in their own lives. They truly understand that physical ailments have a deeper psychological basis or a higher spiritual dimension. Once they understand the “reason” behind the ailment, often the healing occurs spontaneously. It is the power of their faith, combined with their perception of the bigger picture, that precipitates these cures. They make great nurses and doctors, as their very presence can evoke faith in others.
They are also “hands-on” healers. That’s why it’s best for them to be physically involved in life, touching objects, pets, or people to help themselves get grounded. When they are fully present in the physical realm, all their psychic, spiritual abilities can come forth.
As they start healing people—staying in the moment and watching the details of where the energy is going and how the other person is responding—their psyche opens and they see exactly where to put their hands for maximum effect. When they do this healing work, they can tell where the other person is out of touch with his or her inner energies. They long to activate those energies so that the person can open to his or her own wholeness.
Through deep introspection and self-examination, these people have become truly nonjudgmental of others. They have a deep understanding of the common plight of humankind, knowing that everyone is doing the best they can with the Light they have right now. This understanding gives them compassion and acceptance of others. However, these folks must learn to separate being nonjudgmental in the moral realm from the necessity of practical discrimination. Many times, out of compassion or an effort to bring about healing, these folks withdraw and yield to the wills of more assertive personalities.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position who was severely harassed on her job for nine months. She was an assistant nurse and had a problem with one man at the hospital. She kept silently sending him love, trying to heal the situation, but much to her surprise it didn’t do any good. She became so distressed that she decided to quit the job she loved. Then one night the man threatened her life, and she finally let someone know what had been going on. Eventually the man lost his job, but it cost my client nine months of severe distress.
This is a perfect example of what does and does not work for Virgo North Node people. This woman allowed herself to be victimized for nine months rather than actively participate to correct the problem, silently sending the violator Light, compassion, understanding, and love. In past lives the method worked, but not in this lifetime. Of course it’s always a good idea to send others Light, but what works for these folks is taking physical action to correct negative circumstances.
Virgo North Node people need to build self-confidence in this lifetime. Because of their sensitive natures, they are operating with underlying feelings of helplessness and constant vulnerability. This can all too easily lead to free-floating anxiety. They can’t release these feelings until they can determine the cause. Then they usually recognize that their worries have little connection with reality, or they see how to avoid falling into the circumstances that subconsciously provoked the anxiety. This process generally goes more smoothly with outside help from a counselor or trusted friend—another point of view will steady them and keep them from turning inward.
For example, I had a client with this nodal position who was extremely anxious about accepting a job that looked very good on paper. It was exactly what he wanted, and the person making the offer promised him the world. However, he felt anxious about it without understanding why. While explaining it to me, he mentioned that he had previously worked in that part of the country with bittersweet results: He had made lots of money but felt very isolated socially, as there was a strong bias against his particular lifestyle. He was now at a time in his life when his social life was as important to him as his financial success. Once he understood where the anxiety was coming from, he connected with reality and made a confident decision not to accept the job.
Self-confidence is not innate for Virgo North Node people. They have a deep anxiety owing to their lack of practical experience in the world. Confidence is a by-product of successful experience, and these folks haven’t had enough past-life experience in the world to know how truly effective they can be. However, they will find their confidence growing by leaps and bounds in every area of their lives where they consciously set goals. When they bypass their emotions and use their powerful abilities to focus on reaching an objective, they can be masters at discriminating between what works and what doesn’t, and they can succeed in an amazingly short period of time. Once they get the idea, there is no stopping them.
BUILDING CONFIDENCE THROUGH WORLDLY EXPERIENCE
Since Virgo North Node people don’t have a lot of “worldly success memories” in their subconscious, worldly things are not second nature to them. Sometimes they’re afraid that if they “do something wrong,” they can’t have what they want. Actually, that’s true, but it’s not a moral or ethical issue—just a practical one! For these folks, a hands-on approach is best: learning by doing, experimenting, finding out what does and doesn’t work through their own process. Virgo North Nodes are not “theoretically based” people who regard books as the final authority—they want practical results. They want to implement their vision and make it work in the physical world—and only they can do it.
They have no ego attachment to “being right” and are willing to make mistakes in the process of finding out how to do things successfully. This natural openness and humility works to their advantage, since mistakes are a necessary part of learning. Successes tell a person that he or she is correct in pursuing the present pathway with the techniques he or she is using; mistakes indicate being “off track.” These folks are usually “quick studies,” and it doesn’t take them long to get the idea of what works and what doesn’t in any situation.
Past-life experiences in asylums are also very connected with the karma of Virgo North Node people. This is why in the present incarnation they may fear “losing it” or going crazy—it is possible that parts of their psyches went out of balance in the past. Work is an excellent antidote for them in this lifetime. When they focus on their job and positive results, whatever part of their psyche was out of balance will come into permanent alignment through the practical necessity of getting the job done.
These people must be willing to take what may seem to be enormous risks to gain the confidence that comes from actively participating in life. For example, they may have all kinds of fears about looking for a job, but as soon as they move their feet the forward motion cuts through their fears. There is no way they can think their way beyond the anxiety; it is activity that gets them past an innate lack of confidence.
Virgo North Node people are extremely sensitive, and they tend to think that others are just as sensitive. When they look closely, they can see beyond the masks that other people present into what is really going on: the others’ motives, desires, and insecurities. They can do this because they are nonjudgmental. The resulting compassion allows them to see the inner worlds of others.
Because they have this ability, they assume that others can do the same. Thus, they feel very vulnerable when they are out in the world. What they must recognize is that others cannot see into them, for others have not yet experienced the self-purification required to look deeply behind people’s masks. They worry about others judging them, yet holding judgments and preconceptions are the very traits that block others from this ability! Understanding this can be very liberating for these folks—they can act as if they have loads of self-confidence, and others will believe it.
When Virgo North Node people look at others they can see into their very souls, and thus feel tremendous compassion for others. But when others look at them, they only see the self-portraits painted by these folks. In this way, Virgo North Node people can control much of what happens in their lives in a constructive way by putting up a strong “front.”
These people also assume that others are aware of how sensitive they are, of how much they yield and withhold to avoid hurting others, but this is not correct. This is why these folks must establish well-defined boundaries and let other people know when they get hurt. Rather than cry and give up, they should clearly define what is going on for the other person and set a clear, constructive course of mutual action.
OUTWARD FOCUS: PARTICIPATION
Virgo North Node people tend to have too much inward focus. One of my clients with this nodal position frequently said: “I can overcome this if I just go inside myself and think about it.” My counsel was always: “No! Actively participate to bring order to the situation.”
It can be tough to find out what is going on in these folks’ minds, since their first instinct is to withdraw. It may not be easy for others to understand them, so sometimes their feelings don’t get taken into account. To effectively enlist their participation, it may be necessary to ask them specine questions to determine what the situation looks like to them, how they feel about it, and what they want. Once they are clear about what they want to create, they will initiate action.
Their tendency to inward focus especially works to their disadvantage in social interactions. When they are relating with someone, if they become conscious of themselves and lose sight of the other person, they become anxious and withdraw. Their purpose in this lifetime is to serve others; when they stay focused on the other person and what they can do to help, they feel confident because they are “on path.” But when they begin to question their own intent or how they are coming across to the other person, the focus shifts to themselves and they become anxious.
The key for Virgo North Node people is in connecting and problem solving with others. By helping others actively take steps to bring order to the situation, they help themselves. As long as they remember that their motive is to be helpful, they are filled with the confidence they need to interact joyfully. After all, if their primary motive is to be of service, they have nothing to lose. Keeping this in mind is very empowering for them. By concentrating on the other person and solving the problem through an orderly structure, their powerful focus helps create productive results.
These people have a tremendous ability to translate the flow of life into organized form. Once they have a specific goal, everything seems to “fall into place.” The key for them is focus—by simply focusing on their objective, the steps unfold before them in a perfect, orderly sequence that proves to be the most efficient way of reaching their goal. In difficult situations they can see the areas of volatility, and by putting energy into creating a more stable base at the beginning, they prevent things from blowing up later on.
The ability to perfect things in the physical realm is a gift they were born with—and they are far better at it than anyone else on the planet. Yet it is a new gift, and they may not know they have it. It is like finding a “new room” inside themselves that holds talents for restoring things to order, analyzing, and successfully applying spiritual ethics in the material world. If they can open the door to that new room, they will find they have gifts for bringing a vision of spiritual love and order into their environment.
In past lives, Virgo North Node people gained a spiritual understanding of life. Although much of what they learned was accurate, some of the teachings were inaccurate or incomplete. They can learn to discriminate by experimenting with what actually works on a tangible level. For example, they may have been taught that having a compassionate love for all beings is Truth, but they may not have been taught the nuts and bolts of how to apply that Truth in the world, as it currently exists, in ways that are not harmful to themselves or others. It’s up to them to learn how to do it—and they are experts at practical application once they realize that this is what they need to do.
These people are learning the lessons of clarity and discrimination in every area of their lives: what is real and what is fantasy; what is beneficial and what is destructive; who really needs their help and who just wants sympathy; when they are serving and when they are being victimized. They need to differentiate so that they can clear their consciousness and begin to create an efficient order that brings strength, stability, and confidence to their lives.
The folks in this nodal group usually are accurate in their intuitive sense of a situation but don’t trust themselves until they have the details to back up their intuition. This process can lead to “selective viewing”—only seeing information that will substantiate their hunch. For example, if they project that a person is a certain way, eventually the person will do something that—taken out of context—supports their theory. But the whole process is really in their own minds.
If, on the other hand, they feel uneasy with someone but are able to put aside their feelings and watch the reality of that person, they can find out what is actually going on. But they must be objective. For example, if they think that someone keeps putting them down, the best thing is to stand aside and watch how that person behaves toward others. If that person is putting others down, then they know their feeling is justified.
TAKING ACTION VERSUS GIVING UP
Virgo North Node people must fight against a tendency to give up. Overcoming opposition is part of the process necessary for them to gain inner strength and self-confidence. All of us lack confidence in areas where we lack experience. The difference is that most people don’t surrender when faced with opposition. In this lifetime, Virgo North Node people are learning not to give up.
One resolution to the habitual pattern of withdrawal and surrender is to realize that their life doesn’t get any better when they pull inward and give up. The universe keeps bringing them the same situation—with different people—so they can break through it and experience the vitality of life. People who are involved with these folks need to recognize that when Virgo North Nodes pull back, they don’t mean to be hurtful. Sometimes they need their partners to pry them loose from their self-imposed isolation. However, this must be done gently, with acceptance and love, rather than in a condemning or harsh way. At times, rescue is nice for these folks.
When a crisis occurs, they must fight their tendency to not interfere and instead increase their participation in a constructive way. Then they win, and so does everyone around them. For example, I had a Virgo North Node client who had been head over heels in love with a man, and he with her, for five years. They seemed the perfect match. However, she was seven years older, a factor that—unknown to her—troubled him. One day he came to her in great pain and broke off the relationship, explaining that the only reason was the age difference. My client was devastated, but rather than object she pulled back and allowed him to leave. He went to Europe, married a woman younger than himself, and had a child. He came back on business and took my client to dinner. He was miserable, still in love with her, but it was too late to turn everyone’s lives around. Rather than withdraw, my client should have moved forward and participated in creating the results she desired by saying: “Wait a minute, we can work this out.” The results might have been a victory for them both.
EXTREMES VERSUS MODERATION
Virgo North Node people sometimes respond to others in extremes, being overly focused or totally unfocused; too trusting or too suspicious; a complete doormat or totally aloof and invulnerable. They can be very intense emotionally. To avoid problems they need to concentrate on the practical aspects of each situation, make accurate evaluations of the people involved, and then decide on the “appropriate” energy and the most productive approach.
This problem with extremes is also related to their tendency to daydream rather than to focus on the changing details of the here and now. For example, if Virgo North Node people are involved in a relationship where they are getting hurt, it takes them a long time to recognize what is happening. They’re lost in their daydreams about the relationship, rather than being present on a moment-to-moment basis. When they “come to” and realize what is going on, they withdraw. But they tend to withdraw too far, for too long, and not notice if the relationship changes to better accommodate their needs. They inadvertently give inaccurate signals to their mate or co-workers, first giving the impression that they can be taken advantage of without objecting, and then suddenly becoming totally unreachable. By staying present in the situation as it unfolds, these folks can adapt their responses to the reality of what is happening and have more positive relationships.
Virgo North Node people are learning to act with moderation in every aspect of their lives. This is easy when they take circumstances into account objectively. They only go to extremes when they are absorbed in their own reactions to outside stimuli. The path of moderation is found by taking other people into account, focusing on the details of what is going on, and working out a practical resolution to the situation at hand. These folks must learn to deal with life on a practical, goal-oriented level.
For example, if they own a business and are upset with their employees, they should not overlook what is happening out of compassion, or react with self-sacrifice and become a workaholic, or get angry at the employees. They need to objectively observe the details of the situation, and put together a set of rules and regulations that become part of the work environment. Only those employees who follow the rules will be allowed to stay. Actually, these folks have great job karma, and their employees and coworkers invariably love them. Yet to prevent being taken advantage of, they must define job boundaries and put them in writing. This translates their vision for their employees and allows everyone to work together toward a common goal.
RESTORING ORDER TO CHAOS
Virgo North Node people gravitate to situations where something needs to be done to correct an existing problem. Since they have the ability to solve problems in situations of chaos or neglect, their job is to create order by participating in the physical world to set things right. When these folks see chaotic situations around them, their first reaction (past-life tendency) is to withdraw, and the whole thing falls apart. In this lifetime, when something isn’t working, they need to roll up their sleeves and get further into it. When they give up, everybody loses—because others are counting on them, subconsciously, to get involved. When there’s a problem, it’s the universe saying to them: “Hey—we need some help here in the material world!”
It is also very important for Virgo North Node people to keep an orderly environment, both in the home and at work. Having order and organization around them gives them clarity and strength in their daily lives. It is essential that these folks, more than any other nodal position, take the time to keep themselves organized on the physical level.
On the psychological level, chaos and confusion are especially detrimental; these things undermine their confidence to operate in the world. Having their physical environment in order gives them a sense of psychological order, which empowers them to function confidently.
Actually, the process of ordering the environment is healthy for Virgo North Node people. When they feel a sense of inner anxiety—whether they are male or female—sometimes the best thing is to pick up the vacuum cleaner. Going through paperwork, doing the dishes, dusting, putting the environment in order—simple tasks can be therapeutic for these folks. Physically moving in a constructive way transforms their inner anxiety into productivity.
STRUCTURE AND PLANNING
In the area of planning, these folks sometimes go to extremes. They can spend so much time planning their lives that they forget to live them. This may appear as an overly conscientious, workaholic phase. Then they compensate by not planning anything at all, lose their strength, and dissolve into a life with no boundaries. It is two sides of the same coin: the desire to become lost—either in activity or formlessness—and not to take responsibility for creating the structures that would give balance to their lives. Much of this tendency is owing to past-life experiences when other people were responsible for creating their routines. However, in this lifetime it’s up to them.
To give their lives proper structure and meaning, Virgo North Node people need to consciously define their goals and be able to adjust their use of time accordingly. What works best is to allot time (whether it is one-half hour each morning, or two hours once a week) for consistently re-evaluating their schedules. For example, they may determine that they need time for work, exercise, friendships, play, romance, meditation, music, and so on. It is to their advantage to make a list of the various aspects of their life that are important to them and consciously structure their weekly routine to allot time for each. This can help them considerably in achieving a fulfilled and balanced life.
Also, as they organize themselves in a physical way, they gain a clearer picture of exactly “where they are” in different areas of their lives. For example, I had a client with this nodal position who felt vaguely suspicious about her stockbroker. To settle her fears, she took all her records of stock sales since she had been working with him and calculated exactly how much money she had made on the transactions, and how much money he had made on the commissions. Once she had the facts and figures in front of her she could determine the reality of the situation, and her feelings of anxiety dissolved.
This is not a victim lifetime, and Virgo North Node people are learning how to say “no” and not allow themselves to be abused in their relationships. Sometimes they say “no” very gently, and the people who are abusing them don’t get the message. But these folks need to let others know when there is inequity in giving, or when they need more support, before they withdraw from the relationship. If someone isn’t getting the message, it is simply an indication that Virgo North Node should change her approach. We all have different levels of sensitivity—some of us are very sensitive, and some of us need to be hit over the head! Therefore, if the abuse continues, Virgo North Node should keep upping the intensity of her “no” until the other person hears her.
In romantic relationships, Virgo North Node people may, once again, go to extremes with either total aloofness and lack of participation, or total submission to the other person. Again, walking the middle road of moderation is their key to success. One obstacle that keeps them from finding this middle road is that the minute they see a person they care about romantically, they start giving an inch and then giving a mile—before you know it, they’ve lost themselves. Once these folks become romantically involved and the other person doesn’t give them what they want, they start trying to talk themselves out of their own limits: “All right, maybe I’m being too rigid.” Then they dissolve into a confused state in which they just “go along” without standing up for themselves. This doesn’t usually happen in their friendships, because they aren’t so afraid of losing friends. And if their job is interfering with their health or well-being, they will make the decision to move on. But when an intimate, personal relationship is at stake, they are terribly afraid of loss.
Another trap they face is giving up their self-respect. They have a tendency to value the person they are seeing romantically more than they value themselves. They make the other person their center; once they have done that, they are lost. For romantic relationships to work for them, they must value the relationship more than just the other person.
When they fall in love, these folks also tend to create the reality they want in their minds, and then they live it. This is their “payoff” for putting the other person at the “center.” They create a blissful atmosphere through a combination of psychic attunement and an active imagination—it’s almost as though these folks are having a love affair in their own minds. However, this breaks down when the fantasy is too far removed from reality. They need to keep inviting the other person’s input into their fantasy, for realistic grounding and for avoiding deep disappointment.
They should only allow themselves just so many fantasies, or allot only a certain amount of time to fantasize. “You can have five minutes of fantasy, and then go on to the next thing!” The “next, thing” should require a focus that is the antithesis of fantasy: an activity that is mathematical (balancing the checkbook, paying bills, etc.), physical (doing the dishes, vacuuming, etc.), or something else that requires precise